When the going gets tough...

…its easy to just give up on your dreams and surrender to your fears. But you do just that and you spend a lifetime wanting to kill yourself for being such a scaredy cat (and of course you hate the idea) :D Can I just say that I’ve been there and I’ve done that? Of course I have never been close to killing myself, duh. But, I’ve always been a scaredy cat and I always let my dreams crash into pieces and into the ground.

Just few weeks ago, I wanted something really bad and like a helpless, pathetic kid who has gone insane, I bargained with myself. If I aint getting what I want, I aint gonna settle for anything less either. But then heaven must’ve heard me crying out loud and due to my persistent bugging, I sensed God sending me an answer.

NO, that is, or probably…NOT YET.

Okay, so i don’t mind waiting. I can spend the rest my life waiting anyway. So long that its as good as finally waking up to find my life back on track. But the only problem I see is that I get bored easily, so how to deal? Hu-hu.. I’m lost.

However, I would love to be the TOUGH who got herself going even under dire times.

***

which reminds me of this classic adage:

“Patience is a Virtue”

so help me God.

Maligayang Pasko!

Peace on earth and goodwill to men

Peace, Love & Rock n Roll!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Pasko na naman!

O! kay tulin ng araw!!

What's in my mind

1.) Fuck the anime Fillers of Naruto, Bleach and i'm still hoping that Gintama would someday be back.
2.) How money circulates in Philippines?
a.)Corrupt politician will gamble the money to casino
b.)then casino returns sums of money loss of money to the gov't.
c.)Repeat a then b again and again
3.) School is business really
4.) Even though i rant in my blog,i'm still a loving jolly person.
4.) It's Christmas! and i have no money yet i still have gifts!
5.) Everyone is recycling others gifts.
6.) How come surplus shops sells expensive stuffs?
7.) NU 107 station is a big loss for real music bands.(Curse you baby,baby ohh and your hair)
8.) Taxi should issue receipts
9.) Motorcycles should have a separate lane.
10.) Why is my way a huge hit on beer house?
11.) Eat less, move more
12.) Why did Damaso guy apologized to those hypocrites?
13.) I think Thomas Edison is the coolest inventor ever(we have the same birthdate)
14.) Why are there so much traffic enforcers yet there's to much traffic caused by buses,jeepneys and motorcycles)
15.) I think motorcycles should have separate lanes
16.) Why do people spend to much internet in learning everything.
17.) Conan o'Brien Rocks, Jay Leno is an ass.
18.) I think Japan is cool because my music idols are there.
19.) Why do some drummers thinks big sound and loud sound are the same.
20.) Pilipinas kay ganda stinks really bad.
21.) The ombudsman who made a pre-bargain deal with the former general stinks more than Pilipinas kay Ganda.
22.) What really stinks them all is the Party list leader who "represents the security guards" doesn't give an ass to his represented people.
23.) How come our broadband offers 3.6 mbps yet the fastest speed i got was 1 mbps.
24.) How come Nora Aunor makes scary Christmas songs.
25.) Family guy is the shit.
26.) How come a plastic sealant advertisement is using the backing tracks of Steve Houghton.
27.) Why is North Korea being an ass again and again
28.) I hate MTV.
29.) I want to be a kick ass drummer.
30.) I love calamansi juice
31.) Why is the lemonade pomelo flavor gone?
32.) There are many more kick ass music than you see on tv.
33.) i hate user-friendly people
34.) I love tender juicy hotdogs.
35.) Why is the sweet pickle in the cheese burger of tropical hut gone?
36.) Why do Filipinos aspire white skin while the people we aspire love our skin?
37.) I want to inspire the world.
38.) Why is Mayweather scared of Pacman.
39.) APO hiking society is great.
40.) Steve Gadd is Kick ass and Gavin Harrison is inspiring.
41.) My underarm still stinks greater in my right side than the other.
42.) Crimes off today are getting better and better and the cops are still looking for kotong.
43.) DOJ sec. should be a role model to all politicians who have no balls.
44.) Jazz is great but why tugish takish nonsense music is appreciated more?
45.) I'm scared of Carpal tunnel syndrome and tendonitis.
46.) I hate monopolization but i love the board game monopoly.
47.) I love chili! and spicy foods that can make my ass have hemoroids(just joking)
48.) For a Optimistic view,i'm quite a pessimist.
49.) Exercise should be a law.
50.) I want to jog till my brains pop out.
51.) I hate global warming.
52.) I love globalization but hate the idea that we are still losers and still in the bottom of chain.
53.) Why are people hooked more in wrestling? they are like the teledramas.
54.) Why do ballers walk slow?
55.) How come hip hop artist loves the glamour?
56.) Why do we love rumors?
57.) Why are we interested in the personal life of celebrities?
58.) Why are there celebrities that really suck but are still there?
59.) Why do technology compress everything in a gadget that was not meant for it's real purpose?
60.) Practice makes perfect, but Nobody is perfect, so why practice?

Black and White

I attended a Black and White Masquerade last night at Sofitel Philippine Plaza, where everything and everyone was nothing but glitz and glamour. It was The Philippine Star’s Christmas party and it was like a parade of beauties all rolled into one. The theme was black and white and everyone must wear a mask. As expected, everyone came in their best masquerade outfit and i had fun people-watching. I remembered I was one of the many who voted for the masquerade theme because I have always wanted to attend a ball where everyone’s identity is concealed. Maybe because I believe that we are all really hidding under invisible masks everyday, trying to hide something we only want to keep to ourselves. No wonder masks look mysterious…and lonely,too.

I quietly sat down at the corner table and wonder what could have been hidden under the masks of these people. I, myself, have been feeling a different kind of tension that I constantly find myself walking outside the room and into the cool,dark place where the bay is at view. Ah, that was the perfect place to unmask, nobody’s there to judge should I happen to reveal a not so beautiful me. Nobody’s there to laugh should I happen to be my stupid, clumsy self. Nobody’s there to be disappointed should I happen to be imperfect. Nobody’s there to know that I was hurting. So much that I just wanted to wear my mask forever. There were a lot of things that were unseen and pretentions…sometimes it can get very tiring.

I went back inside the room and though I was no longer wearing my mask, I can still feel as though I still have one. I welcomed myself to the place where everything was just black and white… We all belong here anyway. And for a while, I convinced myself that it was a whole lot better here, because it is an escape to some realities that I can’t take anymore.

***

unmasked

no pretentions.

“God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another.”

-William Shakespeare

***

Take a bow, the night is over
this masquerade is getting older
lights are low, the curtains down
There’s no one here.

Say your lines but do you feel it?
Do you mean what you say when there’s no one around
Watching you, watching me
one lonely star.

I’ve always been in love with you
I guess you’ve always known its true
You took my love for granted why? oh why?
The show is over say goodbye.

Make them laugh it comes so easy
When you get to the part where you’re breaking my heart
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown.

Wish you well I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played
No more masquerade, you’re one lonely star.

All the world is a stage
and everyone has their part
but how was I to know which way the story’d go
how was I to know you’d break my heart.

I’ve always been in love with you.

BADjao

Badjao is one of our treasured cultures in the country but why are
they making such a fuzz right now?
They are known as sea gypsies of the Mindanao but why are they
in Manila begging for alms,then selling stuffs like expensive
pre-packed candies and yet harassing people for alms. Some
of them spit on you,hurting you or taking some of your stuff(if you carry lots of things). Why are Gov't officials taking this case?
is there a big syndicate behind this treasured people? They taint
there roots so that they can gain lots of money?
I've seen kuligligs that transport many badjao kids to beg
in the Manila area specifically in Morayta quite a few times.
Unlike the common things that i've experienced such as baliw,
kids that clean your feet with a dirty rag(and i'm wearing slippers).
Badjao here are very aggressive, i've experienced a mother and child.
The mother was playing a hand drum(made of Pipes and they are quite
consistent on how it's made,i saw in Alabang, Paranque, Manila, and Pasay)
and the kid was distributing the envelope. One passenger refused the envelope
and returned to the kid nicely but the kid got aggressive. She threw the envelope
to the passenger again. Then same thing,the women returned in but the kid
returned it in a very bad manner. The kid forcefully put the envelope on the
passengers chest and threatened the person. So are they begging for alms?
or they didn't hit their quota yet. Another story is that they sell
candies that are packed for 50 pesos,not only that they force you, hold you on
your clothes and use a bad language to sell thier stuff.
Some badjaos even have brgy. I.D.'s so that they wouldn't be caught but they
really don't know where it is. So what's the real deal about them?
i respect their culture and the authorities should take this seriously(suntok sa buwan siguro).Don't let them get tainted and to be used by bad people..

Justice?

Not that i'm disappointed but recent events have made me really
think that is there justice for not so rich people?
I mean the people in power can afford all the attorneys they
can get but why are rich and powerful people is favored?
I know there rules and stuff but why are there special treatments,
and the long long delays of the trials so the accused that is really
guilty can get away.. Maybe Lacson is right that he doesn't trust the justice system
and yet he was the chief of the PNP in his days. I just feel bad
for those people like the vizconde,ampatuan massacre and that girl who
was thrown in the bay inside a tank with her body in cement.
i just feel bad..

Killing is just a matter of time

Why do such people in power still be in their positions even though they are corrupt?
Why do such companies still abuse the people even though they killed many?
Is this justice? Or just money?
Money that can make the wrong right.
Money that can delay wrong things until it’s buried
Why is the justice takes a long time for us?
Why are the corrupt people still in power yet they have a case?
Why do influential people still looks good to others yet they are in charge of such drugs or so?
Why is a shipping company still there offering “service” yet they are still in 2 cases of
Problems that aren’t solved?(and both of their big ships are still submerged)
I know this is not my problem alone but I’m just sad not many people
Doesn’t care anymore after the media has stopped it’s attention on it.
What happened to the Euro-Generals who are going to retire after their “seminar” and brought lots of money?
I know there are MORE things that are left unnoticed and to be buried thru the method of long time till it’s gone.
It’s weird that I’m an optimist yet all I see are more negatives. I’m just sad for us..

Discipline!

A simple word yet it’s hard to follow.
Why is it hard to follow?
Is it because of the environment that we knew?
Or it feels unfair that everyone does it that you feel out of place.
You want to be good at something
Yet all you do is dream.
Dream is for inspiration
But talent needs be worked in blood.
We can’t we follow such thing?

Blood, sweat and luxuries (reality/documentary)

I’m not good in telling such stuff and this is not a review of the show.
I saw this show in Australian channel and I was deeply moved.
It shows a group of People who live in such luxuries who are immersed
From the source of their luxuries. Luxuries such as leather stuffs, gold
Jewelries and electronic gadgets. I think it has 5 or so episodes but I only get to
Watch the last 2 episodes. Our country(Philippines) was part of their immersion.
The hierarchy of things in Globalization is a deep issue here. The raw
Materials that came from 3rd world countries and the labor is fucking cheap
But when the item is branded and exported to the “other high countries”. They
Got the big income and from that raw material, they increase the profit a ten to a hundred
Fold. The laborers of that product couldn’t afford the item that they produced.
The people who immersed to the countries where shocked from what they saw.
One of the guy who was working all day, he said I just want to study but he is forced
In a environment that to live you must work. In the Philippines, they got to bond with some of the co workers and know the situation of their life. One of them is forced to work
For their family and child who lives in the province. They went to the province and was shocked that the child doesn’t recognize his mother as her own because the child doesn’t see his mother often. It’s very ironic that the mother is the one working for their survival yet her own child doesn’t acknowledge his own mom. It’s very heart wrecking to see, how much if you are the one on her own place. Why is it that the term Globalization still benefits the higher countries more than the third world countries. I think this globalization is quite wrong, In our country, the former president said we are going towards globalization yet why are we still in ruins?
It’s just a harsh reality for me..

Weekend :)

christmas is all over the city!

huge!

feeling christmas-ey!

cheer up!

what's up with the big smile???

wowwww!

that was soooo cool

I’m already having this can’t-wait- for Christmas- feeling!

’tis the season to be merry, tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la… whoot! whoot!

Nobita: Bakit maski isipin ko na kaya ko gawin ito, di ko parin makaya?

Doraemon: Simple lang yan! Kasi iniisip mo lang, hindi ka naniniwala.

Light and Shade

Sail on the wings of a cloud. Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see. Die every day to be free.
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when you want the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see.
Be real, if you want to love.

-Fra Lippo Lippi, 1987

Cravings

Hakaw (Shrimp Dumpling)

Sbarro Chicago Deep Dish

California Maki

Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza

Kebab

Oh how I lovvvee foods from all over the globe!

Eat and be merry

Some things are better left unsaid.

How often do we misunderstood silence?

Countless times.

But there are things that are better left unsaid.

Although it could make a big difference.

Sometimes you just have to forget it.

Coz at times, it doesn’t really matter.

Sometimes, you simply just can’t find the right words.

And when you do, its just not the right time.

Sometimes, everything is just so perfect.

And words are not needed.

Sometimes you want to open up.

Yet, nobody wants to listen.

Sometimes they try to hear you out.

But they never understood.

Sometimes it will just hurt you.

Coz it will make you look stupid.

Sometimes it will just hurt the people around you.

And you never want that to happen.

Some things are better left unsaid.

And often times, if its not of love…it is of truth.

A curious kid in me.....

Bakit mas mabaho ang kanan kong kilikili kesa sa kaliwa?
Bat sabe ng nanay ko ang Dyip ay wala ng disiplina nung bata pa sila?
Bakit karamihan ng pinoy e laging late?
Bakit madaming tsismosa sa office?
Bakit madaming anak ang mahihirap?
Bat ka papayag maging ninong at ninang kung tataguan mo inaanak mo?
Bat ka mag aalaga ng aso kung papabayaan mo lang ito sa labas?
Bakit ang artista e bigla nagiging dancer tapos singer na?
Bakit ang masa hindi gusto ng musika nila Mozart, Chopin at Wagner?
Bakit babaeng nakabikini(Minsan Photoshop pa ang pic) para mag endorse ng gamit?
Bakit hindi supportahan ng gobyerno ang mga larangan ng mga inventors satin?
Bakit tamad mag tapon ng basura ang Pinoy?
Bakit ang mga hindi pa senior citizen na tao e nagpapatanda para makuha ang discount?
Bakit may mga taong bingi pag nakikisuyo ka ng bayad sa dyip?
Bakit kaya may taong gahaman?
Bakit ang teknolohiya e araw araw may bago?
Bakit ang dyip e pag go e stop at pag stop ay go?
Bakit bubusinahan ka ng taxi pag nakatayo kayong dalawa ng karelasyon mo?
Bakit matapang pa ang squatter kesa sa pulis pag kukunin na sa kanila lupa?
Bakit may mga taong ayaw sumunod sa pila?
Bakit may mga store na walang resibo?(isa pa naman sa big three ng gasolina powers)
Bakit sabay sabay mag taas ng presyo ang gasolina pero deny sila sa involvment in isat isa.
Bakit ang Pinoy mahilig sa kanin?
Bakit ang high school e nagmamadaling tumanda?
Bakit may mga taong sadyang mayabang?
Bakit may mga taong plastic?
Bakit undas e saka lang maalala ng tao ang mahal nila sa buhay?
Bakit may mga tao na pinipili ang tradisyon kesa sa tama?
Bakit ang mga pulitiko e mahilig tayo gawan ng overpass at waiting shed na wala sa lugar?
Bakit mas pinipili ng lalaki magdala ng clutch kesa bag na normal?
Bakit may mga artistang sadyang gago pero tinatangkilik pa din?
Bakit hindi matangkilik ng Pinoy ang sariling atin at mahilig pa sa mga blonde at singkit?
Bakit madami ng SM?
Anu ba meron sa unlimited rice?
Anu ba meron sa coffee shop at tatambay kayo dun ng matagal samantalang isang frappe lang ang bibilin mo at papatagalin ng kalahating araw?
Bakit mas exciting manuod ng UAAP at NCAA kesa sa PBA?
Bakit maangas na sa ibang tao matignan ka lang ng di mo gusto saglit?
Bakit may mga taong nanghihingi ng toll sa daanan na hindi naman sa kanila?
Bakit hindi hulihin ng kapwa nila pulis ang mga kotong pulis na obvious naman ang gawain?
Bat humahaba at gumugulo ang teleserye habang mataas pa ang ratings nito at sa huli di mo na maintindihan ang storya?
Bat pare parehong mukha na lang makikita mo sa myx videos pero iba ibang banda nila?
Bakit madaming tax sa pinas ngunit overpass lang ang nabibigay ng pork barrel?
Anu meron sa escalator kung di naman pinapapagamit?
Anu meron sa super high heels kung ala t-rex ka naman maglakad?
Bakit may mga taong nagbibitbit ng drumstick samantalang may bag naman sila?
Bakit ang Pinoy hindi makaintindi ng HIndi?
Bakit may mga taong tamad?
Bakit mas madaming mahabang buhok sa ilong ko sa kanan kesa kaliwa?
Bat ang dami kong nunal?
Bakit may mga taong nag didiet softdrinks,fit n right etc. pero kakain pa din ng madami pero sa kagustuhang pumayat?
Bat pero welga na lang ang mga grupo?
Bakit may mga taong napakayaman na bumibili ng gamit na di naman nila kelangan?
Bakit ka bibili ng laptop para lamang mag wifi sa burger king?
Bakit isang napaka payat na artistang babae ang gagawin mong endorser ng mga pagkain at nagaerobics pa sa isang napkin ad.
Bakit walang tacobel sa south ng Metro Manila?

Do low paying jobs reflect the attitude of work?

We went to a government hospital to get our medico legal. We went to a typical office space where there are windows for distinct things. I ask an honest question of inquiring how to acquire the medico. The fat guy in a loud voice it’s not in my window, don’t ask me that, you should go to window 3. Then on window 3, I was also faced with the same attitude. What is their fucking problem? Is it their salary? They are not happy with the job? Why do they hit it on the people asking nicely to them? Do they know that most of the people there are first timers who don’t know what to do so they ask. What is the problem? We got the medico but we are enraged by the attitude of those people. Don’t treat us like shit when we are the ones asking you nicely. Don’t put that attitude in our face when the reason is your salary or the working environment is not that nice. We want to make ends meet but don’t be such an ass like the corrupt government officials(most of them, when will they be extinct?). Enjoy your jobs everyone even though the pay is not that good. You are even lucky because you have one.

Do we use things for it’s purpose or for PORMA?

It’s everywhere, you buy basketball shoes but it’s only used 5% of it’s life on the court so what happened to the 95%?. You buy a laptop but always go to wi-fi zones just to browse on facebook. What the hell? It’s not that you don’t have the right but what is the purpose of those things? I just want to blow this up because me and Vanessa are taking jogging seriously. It’s not that we plan to join every running competition but to be fit. We saw this bald guy with a frickin’ high tech utility belt. He looks like a serious runner. Complete package of running shoes, shades, music player, running shorts and the utility belt like batman. We really laughed out loud because it has to compartments for two different drinks, pockets for those gel things, for towel, and other stuff. But what the hell? We never saw him sweat nor see him again that day. We made 4 laps,1 lap is 2km. but we never saw him again. Porma? I think so.. We see some professional runners there just bringing one bottled water. I’m a drummer by heart And some gigs seems to be a lot of those people. Bringing double pedals and stuff but just using for endings. For what? You just want to brag you have those shiny double pedals that is expensive. So what? For me in my metal band few years ago. I bring double pedal because of it’s sound. It’s louder for individual strokes than doubled in one foot. I do one foot blast but don’t use double pedal for endings of your songs. Buy things for it’s purpose, and not just to brag and show it to others who deserve it more than you.

Amazing judges from talent shows.

I’m amazed by the judges in such talent shows. They have the powers to make one ordinary person into a celebrity by their judgment. Do you wonder if they are credible?
I don’t know but some of them are not. Do you wonder how do they get their powers of the ear when they hear such pitchy notes and know that it’s flat or sharp? I do wonder when you are a showbiz columnist then you become a judge in a singing show then you hear intonation problems all of a sudden? Wow.. I’m just wondering, It takes a long time to develop that skill but then you are from a chizmiz world then you know that all of a sudden.. wow.. it’s really amazing how you do that.. what a world.. Nostradamus maybe right because of this things happening..

"Haters are our undercover fans..."

-Paulo Coelho

Finally!

This has been our new (and improved) addiction lately! We run every weekend This is the reason why I practiced the art of going home early. he-he, needed a lot of courage and determination of course! Saturday mornings have never been the same, who would have thought I would be more than willing to wake up at 4:30 am especially on a weekend. Well, I’ve been successfully doing this for a month now. Thanks to my ever supporting Alvin who decided to join me in my endeavor. Like the old saying goes, “No pain, no gain.” And as for me, I’ll endure the pain as long as I could have my then 24″ tummy back!

*wishful thinking*

Ditch that TV

Okay, so maybe we can lighten it up. How about, turn off that TV a little more often? I’ve been wasting a lot of my free time watching TV lately. And actually, its not always my choice. Now here’s the thing, every time I come home from work, I always catch my mom watching “teleseryes”. Since I was always too tired to go upstairs straight away, I would lie down on the sofa and watch TV for awhile. I would endlessly tease my mom on how obsessed she is with those TV programs and she would always laugh at me and ask me why do I keep on watching if I hate it? Yeah right. I want to know the answer too.

Actually, my original plan is to come home as early as possible to have more time to do my fave things which includes: reading my old magazines I’ve read countless times, writing essays and taking a bath before bedtime. But the moment I take a glimpse on what my mom is going ga-ga over, I always find myself hooked for hours, too. Well for one, I hate watching teleseyes because they seem to have this power to make a fool out of us who patronize these shows.

It’s irritating and amazing at the same time on how they manipulate us into liking things. I hate the fact that when the lead role is a famous chef, its like everyone is going crazy about chefs. If the role is a fashion designer, it seems like the whole world cares about fashion designers when in fact, we don’t even give a damn about these people in real life.

And what else? There was this one teleserye and I’m so glad that it was over, where a plain lad who dreamed of making it big in the music industry suddenly became popular when she sang for a commercial jingle. And it was like everyone was out to get her autograph. And if you happen to hear the jingle, it was so ordinary. Oh, and did I mention it was so boring? And since when did we fantasize over a commercial jingle singer in real life? The only one I was able to remember who made it big in that field and gained fans was Nikki Gil for the Coke commercial. But its not everyday that we go crazy over a singer on a commercial jingle. Come on, give us a break please.

The boob tube is controlling us. There’s more to life than wasting our time on these pointless drama. Life is already too complicated, why do we have to burden ourselves into thinking what will happen to actress A when actress B finds out she was flirting with actor A who happened to be actress B’s long time unfaithful boyfriend? I suffered the same dilemma. Man, I just spent the whole night wondering what will happen to that teleserye I was so into. Stupid of me right? I better start ditching that bad TV habit before it gets the better out of me.

Blast from the Past!

I saw this ad of a beauty product on TV and they were comparing before and after photos of the celebrity endorser. Actually, the bottom line there is the idea that there’s nothing much of a comparison even after 10 years because she has been using the product for almost a decade.

I don’t know what has gotten into me that I rummaged through my past-life cabinet (that’s where I stashed all my grade school stuff trash. I jumped for joy as I found the old picture I’ve been looking for. Back then, looking through old photo albums have always been my biggest fear. I don’t want other people to see my old photos which are all very disgusting. I have big eyes, cropped hair, pale skin and I’m scrawny. I looked horrific in other words, or at least that was what my family used to describe me.

How come nobody told me about cheek tints, lip gloss and bronzer back then? Had I known more about plucking my eyebrows, it could have made a big difference on my appearance. Had someone told me that wearing baggy pants and large sized shirts never looked pleasing to the eye, my first crush might have given me a second look…or a first glance rather.

But that was just a thing of the past. Yeah, I’ve hated the way I looked before but don’t we all? And I found out recently that our best beauty will come as we age. Well, probably because now I’ve settled my body issues and I managed to love my body, flaws and all. At least now, I see them as part of me whose now only better. After all, beauty is still in the eye of the beholder.

I considered putting that old photo here as a proof that overtime, I’ve improved a lot but I changed my mind. Let it remain a mystery, something for me to cherish and keep to myself as a thing of my childhood years, and for you to imagine. Young and vibrant :) Or so I would like to think.

Wow!

dami blog ng month of october..!!
hehe.. asteeg!

Damaso? Damaso!

Why the hell am i writing this..
I dunno.. maybe he is right.. maybe his wrong.
But here is my piece of mind...
Government and Church are seperate entities.
In the colonization of the Spain in our country for
more than 300 years it was one. And we've been thru hell.
It's ok now but i think there is a second coming.. I hope not..
I feel for the desire of change.. i'm one of them i think..
The gov't now is just 3 months in the seat.. there are better ones
and less rotten ones.. Why the hell is everybody complaining?
don't tell me Filipino people just live to complain and rally?
but when they go their homes they are just also a suck ass fags
like the ones they complain about.. Why is the church over reacting
by ex communicating P-noy for having the balls to change our lives?
The country who colonized us,Spain they have a nice country which
the church is REALLY seperate from the Gov't. Why the hell the church
didn't ex communicate the former Presidents? they are full of scams than
P-noy. For having balls to push thru this bill you have to ex comunnicate him?
It's really annoying to be here in the Philippines.. You have to please everyone,
in pleasing everyone, you end up with nothing. like our country..
Pesimistic? no.. it's the truth.. I'm optimistic, i strive for change..
I was a former youth of our church.. it's fun serving.. but inside the church
itself has full of conflicts still in ministries.. they look so religous in showing everyone.
But they lack in the spiritual sense.. Personally i know someone from our
church who are perverts(Silahis). But when you look at them in the church they look
so respected.. I don't intend to demoralize my religion.. but this are from what i saw..
And from the nearer church here in out place.. they use to have 2nd collection
for in the church.. after i graduated from prep,grade school and high school nothing
still happend. The church is still the same,it's because the parish priest has a family
and lots of cars.. wow.. why don't you ex communicate that guy first?
I believe the Reprductive health will be a huge step in decreasing poverty..
The gov't is always blame for poverty now that they are making up for it. wtf do they want?
Civil disobidience for what? The church has outreach programs but i think it's not
enough to solve poverty still. I also see some born-again churchs have feeding program
and i think some of them are more active and true to their goal of helping but it doesn't still
solve poverty.. The Upper class and the middle class have family planning, it's the lower part of the
group is the problem. They can't control the urge or sex. Then they let their children do their
errands for them.. So what now? I think the church is overreacting, if they ask for civil disobedience.
I will change my religion for buddhism.. i think it's not complicated as the Church i know..
Why do i think of this? I think religion should be the conscience of the society and not as
thing that incites another bad from the thing that is worse already.
I don't want to do that if you will pursue that civil disobedience,i will be really dissappointed
because you also started a bad thing.. you are not God.. You are just messengers of God..
you just spread his holy words.. You don't have the power to excommunicate him..
Please excommunicate me also if your going to do that to our President. I'm not
an avid fan of P-noy but i think he has the balls for fighting into something..
And i think God will be also dissappointed in you because you care so much for this
thing and forgot one person to save.. That is me.. and more of like me.. who strive
for change and betterment but you just let us be bad by ordering us in civil disobedience..
Even though the church said that, it will still be bad.. i don't know i just want a better place
to live in.. maybe it's not in the Philippines after all..

Run, But You Can't Hide Man!

Last Tuesday, Alvin and I came across another bad luck. Must be a series of jinx for a graduating student like Alvin. I had my fair share of accidents too when I was nearing graduation last year. Today, I can feel my whole being crying out for justice. We were hit and run by a Mitsubishi Adventure on our way home. I swear, I almost believed I’ve lost Alvin that night. We were in the hospital waiting for test results and I found myself sitting in the dark corner of the room, praising and crying out to God. He must’ve loved us so much that he spared us from death or any serious injury. I could only praise him. We filed a police report against the driver and now I’m just waiting for that fateful day to come face to face with that asshole. I’ll make him reap what he saw.

BLOOM!

My phone alarmed today and a message appeared on my to-do note, it says:

” God has placed you there for a purpose, whatever it is might be, know he has chosen you for it and labor faithfully. BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED.”

My sister saved it in my phone during those times I was whining about how I hate my situation and how I would like to give up. It has been a daily reminder since then and up to this day, I labor faithfully knowing that God will never allow the faithful to be moved

My Revised New Year's Resolution

1. I’ll be serious about losing weight I’ll start loving the body that I have now.
2. I’ll be a go-getter I’ll never settle for anything less anymore.
3. I’ll do my best to be happy always I’ll get rid of all the dramas.
4. I’ll start a new hobby I’ll improve what I already have.
5. I’ll be a good girl I’ll think twice before doing something.
6. I’ll never be lovefool again I’ll love with my eyes open.
7. I’ll stop being naive and lonesome I’ll laugh more.
8. I’ll start loving myself more I’ll think more of others and less of myself.
9. I’ll be patient I won’t give up easily.
10. I’ll be more focused I’ll start to pay attention

Random thoughts 101

I’m so in love with my kumareng Vanessa!!
Masarap magjogging! Kick ass talaga!
Masaya ako at makakagraduate nako.
I hate the music industry! It’s full of monopoly and politics.
I want to clean up my act in drums.
Be a civilized person (hindi na paaction star)
Ingatan and cellphone kahit pipitsugin e baka kunin pa din
Makikisapak at sipa ako pag may nakita akong holdaper or snatcher na nahuli.
I want to make a difference in this cruel world.
After long years in conservatory,I know the pitch but still suck in singing
If a focus on something,I can so it.
Mahirap maging pikon.
Bakit may sapak ang broadband
Gusto ko makakuha ng kanta ni james brown.
I want to be the best that I can be.
Leche talaga yung nakasagasa sakin.
I want to have a good system in everything
Why are Filipinos reklamador?
Isang galaw na di gusto e rally kagad.
Hindi inaantay ang resulta.
Nasan na ang pilipinas?
Nasa baba pa din di tulad ng dati na nakakaangat sa karatig bansa.
Bat kaya ang dyip antagal magbyahe
Lagi ka pang haharangan pag tatawid ka.
Bakit madaming virus sa internet.
Bat ang daming masasama sa mundo.
Bakit nagiging badut maging tama?
Bakit hindi pa matapos ang naruto at bleach?
Bakit ang mahal ng cymbals?
Gusto ko magmarimba.
Masarap matulog.
Gusto ko bumalik sa tacobel at maghihiganti kame ni Vanessa sa burrito etc.
Masarap talaga magjogging!

TYR 706!

You are one heck of an irresponsible driver.
You hit us yet you run away from your mess.
You left us broken in the middle.
You showed no compassion , nor a simple sorry.
You let us consumed by hatred by your wrong doing.
But God didn’t left us in grief.
He showed a small light that will lead the way.
A light that’s getting bigger.
And getting us near to your beloved Mitsubishi adventure
Color white and metallic silver.
We already know you.
We will not be above the law,
We will settle this in legal terms.
We will NOT stop until you face your mess
We will NOT stop until you learned your lesson
We will NOT stop until you get it right
For we are scared that you might do this again.
And that time, you already killed someone.
And try to get away with it again.

And i'm so sick of love songs

I’m loving Black Eyed Peas’ Meet me Halfway and Shut it Down feat. Akon right now. So opposite from my usual playlist which is basically composed of loud music. Well there came a point that I even indulged into listening to lovesongs. I fell asleep too many times to mushy songs and I have to blame someone for it. That's what people whose in love often do.

Now I listen to these chill and feel good music for a change. I find it so relaxing and it sets my mood in the morning. I dunno, I just wanted something different. Lately thats what I do, i try to venture into other things. And i’m often misunderstood by people because of it.

I remember wearing a red lipstick last week, and people started asking me why do I look different, blooming, blah-blah. At first, it was amusing that they seem to notice, but then it becomes irritating. Someone made this drastic comment that I have been trying to look pretty because I’m threatened of this newbie employee, that I’m up for a competion. Right then and there I wanted to slap this person’s face and tell him he’s so pathetic. People are mean sometimes. How can they ever think of those things when I don’t have a single idea of that in my mind? Do I really have to explain to everyone why I was wearing a red lipstick? Can’t I just do it because I want to and not be obliged in giving a reason?

Honestly, I just wanted to go out of my comfort zone and try new things. I’m hurt, i just want to feel good about myself. I’m so tired of everything, of the people around me, my routine, that same old lovesong i listen to over and over, and i just need a break.

What's Up Santa?

You see I started feeling this way that day when Alvin and I had dinner together at the mall one Saturday evening. While I was sitting there waiting for our food, I received a text message from Alvin who was then waiting on a long line of people on the counter who were also starving to death. It says, “Can you hear the song? Christmas na talaga no?” Only then did I realize that the whole time I was sitting there, Christmas carols had been playing on the background.

And it all began. That sudden rush of excitement and that old familiar smile on my face is telling me that my favorite time of the year is fast approaching. I soooo love the holiday season. I love the traffic, yes even if it means i’ll be coming home later than the usual. I love to hit the malls during this season where everyone is panicking to get their shopping list done. I love the festive, the foods, the parties and the gifts. Actually, there’s only one thing that I don’t like about it. Its how we sometimes pretend to be happy even if we are not. We feel pressured to be jolly because we think that everyone is feeling that way and that is what the season is all about. Celebrating.

I don’t know if I have been naughty or nice this year. But I want to get good gifts come Christmas time. I’m sure you give out second chances right? I think its not yet too late to put my acts together and show you that I am still your good girl Besides, I still have a few months left. I have one request though. Should you happen to catch me trying to fake the smile on my face, can you remind me of all the reasons why this Christmas is worth celebrating?

The Philippine Star Goes Live!

The Philippine Star goes live yesterday at the New World Hotel. The country’s brightest and widely read newspaper unveils the future as we party the night away.Top celebrities entertained the crowd of advertisers and everyone had a blast. Foods, booze and prizes were overflowing. And its me up there, sharing the limelight with Luis Manzano and Iya Villana. Walang kokontra! Haha:D Fun.Fun.Fun!

*photo courtesy of Mong Pintolo

'Tis the Season for Gifts!

I received a surprise gift today Alvin bought me a running shoes! Well I’ve been wanting a new one lately and Alvin who was playing Secret Santa made plans of surprising me all along. We even had a fight earlier and I was really, really mad at him. I didn’t know he was up to something fishy. Well, I consider this an early Christmas gift. And I’m hoping for more. Ho-ho

Thoughts on a Sunday Morning

I think my life needs a major overhaul. I don’t understand why I allow myself to live with something that I don’t like. It feels like as if I don’t have any other options and I hate it. Coz all my life, I never boxed myself into thinking that I deserved less.I don’t remeber a time I feared losing something that I want, if it will cost me my dignity. Well it all boils down to something, we all due respect. And if I feel that I don’t get it, i head out to the nearest exit. I hate it thaat some people are making a fool out of me. And there are some who seems to believe that I only deserve to photocopy things for them, run errands for them, etc…etc.When I still don’t have my college degree, I wasn’t even treated inferior by my boss, by the people around me, even by my students when I was an English teacher. Probably because everyone knows that we were all intelligent people. Its funny coz now, people act as though they won themselves a personal assistant. I don’t deserve this. I studied hard to have a good life, to have a good job and not just to get paid a little to be everyone’s doormat. I’ll start picking myself from here. Let’s see what happens.

Vanessa 101

FOUND: Laughing at her own jokes, adoring herself in the mirror

IDENTIFIED BY: her all consuming mood, her pensive look, her roaring laughter

WEARS: her heart on her sleeves, a sheepish grin, the sweetest toothy smile for her enemies

BIGGEST FEAR: Conformity

LOST WITHOUT: her big imagination, someone to pick on for her own amusement

INTRIGUED BY: the cheerleaders, everyone else’s lunch food

PET PEEVE: inflated egos of athletes, home economics

PASSION: passion

CAN YOU IMAGINE HER: in a Lady Gaga concert, adding “like, whatever” to her vocabulary

Best things in the world

1. not coming home till 3 in the morning
2. that after shower feeling
3. waking up to your alarm and falling asleep again
4. 12 hours of undisturbed sleep (and peeing doesn’t count)
5. last minute plans that turns out to be the best ones
6. noodle soup straight from the fridge
7. hidding the tv remote so i can watch spongbob the whole time
8. a kiss on the forehead
9. cake and coffee breakfast
10. that Friday im gonna party after work feeling
11. an unexpected hello from someone you hate
12. singing and dancing in front of the mirror
13. waking up in the morning and finding out you still have some minutes left to just lie there and daydream
14. answered prayers
15. the nights I can barely remember

Pinas,Pinas… nandito ang kinabukasan

I wish.. I wish..
I’ve read an excerpt of the essay Mexican masks, it was a revelation for me.
We,the Filipino people are same with the Mexicans.
In the said essay, we are afraid to face the spotlight to fight for our beliefs.
Instead,we just remain silent and give that “respect” to the ones who made such an undesirable thing. We are scared to go beyond our capabilities.
I always make my blog in the type of “spur of a moment”.
I’m a guy who always speaks my mind and gives a piece of it.
I maybe uncivilized in delivering my word but I also settle things in legal matters.
Do I have to remind every person that smoking in the jeepneys is unlawful?
Also litering? Also the kotong cops to the politicians who put their faces bigger than The word ambulance? Can’t we Filipino people wake up?
Even if one people made an example in front of their faces? Will they do it?
No.. I’ve been there,they made me look like an idiot but I’m the one who's doing the right thing.
How can we progress if one such small task that is right we can’t do..
I’m planning about doing a blog on my recital but this crap is really bothering me.
I’ll connect it soon. But anyway,why do Filipinos struggle so hard in crossing the overpasses? Why do drivers don’t report and just tolerate the kotong cops? I live my life in a systematic manner, I follow the flow of things, why can’t most of us follow?

In my Graduation recital, this things were also not followed. I followed the system yet I don’t know why such people bend the rules leaving me tortured in my mind if my life changing recital would push through. Leaving me struggling in time and not enough time to practice. I wish my recital would have a better outcome. I know I could push a little more. That small thing could make a lot of difference. Even though I got a flat 1 in my recital(equivalent to thesis), In my personal record,I’m not satisfied. I know I could have done more. I wish there would be a strong system in those things. I know were in a transition,I’m hopeful..
After my recital, My girlfriend and I went to trinoma. I really wanted so bad the tacobel and everything that is Mexican. On our way there,my celphone worth 3k that is pretty dirty and not a touch screen was snatched in my pocket. That dumb fuck! I just wished that guy snatched a fone from an elitista that doesn’t care. Anyway I just wished I really caught that guy red handed so I can make a fucking difference in his face. I know it’s a violent way,but the hell with it. I promised that I won’t be like that but when will the time that the guy will be kicked for his petty fucking crime. I believe in karma. Yes I do. But they give such problems to the society. Specially me, If I had caught him I would really put a deep belly button on his forehead. I’m really mad! I just wanna celebrate my happy end in the recital and you destroyed the moment. I don’t care if you are a robin hood type but I hope you rot in hell. What you did is wrong.. I’m so mad, really mad but I just wish our country would be better for all of us. So that you fucking snatchers and likes would have a nice and honest job that doesn’t require pestering and be a parasite to the society. I just hope one day you will find a nice job. You got me but God will really get you. And if I see one of your likes even if it’s not you. I’ll strangle you with your own intestine.