how does one feel whenever one has to say goodbye to good things in his / her life? does one has to blame herself? will crying be enough to exhaust one's self from pain? will it be best to immerse yourself in the sea of all those good things? when as much as it will give you the happiness you're not yet ready to miss, it will also leave you trapped in a surreal world you dont ever want to find yourself forever. does one has to be willing to accept even the bad stuff just so one can move on? or every waking day will just be a living testimonial that things can never be the same like before. i don't exactly know. but i do know something, that whichever one choses to do, it won't guarrantee a better life...a better morning ahead of you.
is it mortal sin to close your eyes to things you don't want to see? if you choose to be blind and pretend to be strong, will you have better judgement over circumstances? will it make you more ideal to other people? if you shut your mouth in times when you want to speak, if you intend to just listen and accept what seems to be deafening to your ears, will it make you understanding? will you be appreciated for that? or be thanked at the least? if you consider others' emotions first and foremost, and decided to leave yours unnoticed, will it stop the good things from ending? will it make you a better person? a better friend? a better boyfriend or girlfriend? for some maybe. for those who haven't seen your worth yet. for those who haven't noticed you've been trying this hard already.
i don't want to forget beautiful things. they are always a good source of happiness whenever times are low. it's the cheapest way to feel good when life tastes like bitter candy. but good things do end. either you want to accept it or not. from this day, i'm afraid things will completely change for me people will not be the same like before, happy moments will just bring pain because i don't know what's true anymore. did i only fool myself that's why i had those good memories? or did they truly exist? it's painful that you don't learn from past mistakes, because you rather learn to trust again...just to be hurt even more.the only emotion i am able to recognize at the moment is regret. regret that i only found out recently, that no amount of good things that you do can ever make something last forever.