Knocking on a Cold Heart

For a time, I felt numb. My fingers were cold as ice. I can hear people's voices echoing at the back of my head, but it felt like there was a glass wall surrounding me that I can not hear what they say exactly. I probably looked so pathetic because people can't help but stare. I cried rivers of tears while trying to gather all the strength i have, just to hold on. Hold on to dear life...hold on to my love. Words like I don't care anymore, you're not worth my time, lets end this cut a hole in my heart and breathing seemed harder that having my moments of asthma attack. it felt like hell... Then finally i snapped back to life, remembering where I was. Vehicles of all kinds were passing by in front of me, suffocating me with thick black smoke while people rush from here and there...chasing time. While mine stopped the moment i read his messages. I'm not even sure if it was the time, or was it my world that suddenly stopped for a while. Realizing i was making a fool out of myself, it made me fathom why some people looked at me the way they would on a lunatic. I was standing on the sides of the street, teary-eyed and all. Being left behind by someone I've fought for till the ends of the earth.Sometimes, i wanted something better for myself. I wanted to believe I deserve more. And I feel that way sometimes too often that I actually live and breathe only just to feel it. I sat on the stairs of an abandoned building, losing grip on what I've believed was mine forever. He made me believe it though. It was a promise of forever until our next big fight. Then all of what we seemed to have established for a stronger relationship falls apart. My whole being screamed for justice. I was wrong and sorry but there was no chance of forgiveness. I cried over times i almost wanted to let go because of mistakes he have done, but to no avail. I wanted to let go...I don't deserve to beg after all. But what do I deserve anyway. I've lost all the faith I have for myself. My knees were shaking but I stood up and decided to walk straightaway. I head towards the road to forgiveness...where i'll see my love. He needs it more than I do. Although I hope he will see that I deserve it too. I never took walking away as an option. My heart only tells me to continue walking ahead. Even if I wasn't sure at the time if he will meet me halfway.

Are you quite Corrupt?

Corruption is everywhere!! whaa!! of course in our Government
What is Corruption? it's a greed for your own comfort and not thinking of
effect of the greater populace around you if they will suffer..
Even in petty things we show our corruption in our lives are you one of these examples?

1.) Your riding an fx then you put the direction of the aircons in your face for your own comfort,not adjusting the aircon for everyone to share. Don't argue that the aircon is not cold.Probably all the passengers are experiencing what you feel.

2.) In a buffet,do you get your plate so full but you won't eat them all? of you get everything you like and don't care if the others won't have it?

3.) For the drivers. You don't give the change of passengers and you suddenly became deaf when you hear student!

4.) IN a jeepney scenario,you don't look around or just face the window so that the other people in the jeep will not pass you the fare.Don't ride a jeep if you are like that.

5.) think of these things,it will lead us to worst things,if people are like that then it's just a bad place to live. i don't know.