Kafee anyone?

Why are there people who do things that aren't in their status or doesn't really need this things in their life.Are you one of them? I was too but realized that it wasn't fruithful.Do You like to go to Coffee shop and buy some frappe but will not drink it? you will just drink them after you leave in the place after 4 to 6 hrs. of senseless seating surrounded by businessmen and social climbers. Why do you do this? yes it's comfortable in the couches but will you spend your parents hard earned money to buy a frickin expensive frappe? If you wipe your face with the tissue of the coffeeshop and other people will see it,will they make you beautiful or handsome?Will it make your status high? can you put it in your resume as OJT like i sat at $+@rbuck$ for 100 hrs.Will everyone bow to you if they see you bringing the cup of frappe already liquid and half passed already and just sipping every 30 mins.? You are missing the best things in life.Its outside the coffeeshop.It's fun to stay there occassionally but you don't need to go there everyday or week.. your just making the owners rich.

I'm disgusted with the Gov't

A head with a partner in crime
24 leaders with some making films and some unknown to the public.
Representatives of each place just love the Pork.
Leaders of each place who just loves to greet us a happy holidays when are roads are in a mess.
People who makes the country a business. Damned place

ALMS? anyone?

Growing up in a Catholic upbringing environment taught me to give alms to the less fortunate people around me whenever i can. But as i go farther to this reality,i faltered in my beliefs and steped back to this help. I have issues with this things.
This situations happened to me:

1.) I gave some loose change to a small kid,only found out later that he used my coins to play karakrus with his fellow kids.
2.) Same situation with a kid,I asked him first. Where are your parents? he pointed out in the corner his mom pregnant,smoking and eating some fishbol. wtf?
3.) I was commuting and observed a mother with a baby staring at the wind shields of nice cars. the following days i saw the same kid but different mothers. They pass around the baby for their own keepsake.
4.) I was riding a jeep going home and a small kid with envelopes rode the jeep and handed envelopes written "pahingi ng barya po" in script writing.Wow! the kid wouldn't write it down because i think his 5 yr old. So blame the parents who loves making babies to do their job for them.
5.) People who hands a small laminated letter of their "foundation" and ask for help and not saying anything.
6.) My mother is helping out whenever she can,one time he saw a kid without a slipper. SHe gave him a pair then after a while some kids flocked our gate and asked"ikaw ba yung namigay ng tsinelas? pahinga nga.."
7.) In the status of our family,we are placed in the better walks of life so some of our relatives asks for help but why they only remember us on christmas and when they are in need. When they don't need us,we don't exist.

I am not saying they are bad people.. I see Goodness still but will you give help to someone who doesn't care to you? they just want easy money. It's your action that is impt. and they got things for that? I've been helping people on the depressed area when i was young. Going to their house,eating meals with them. Is it ironic that on some occasions how did they acquire dvd and karaoke set while in our house we have none? it makes me wonder.I don't deprive them from such things but won't you think twice? I want to help.. I just don't want to give them money anymore. Money is the root of evil. It's a double edged sword that could help or hurt. My piece of advice is just give them food or clothes,not money. atleast it's already there but still my family encountered a relative selling the things we give him for bad medicine. What a waste.
It's ok to help.. just be wise..

"Give the man a fish and he'll live for a Day,Teach the man how to fish and he'll live forever"

A Letter to the People in Power

You are Placed in your position because you worked for it either in a good way or the bad way. You are in your seat because people believe in you or you just believe in yourself,that you'll make everything better for your supporters but you only get rich. Your are there to lead everyone to a better place.

But you ARE NOT:
-to decide that your sole decision will make everything okey,you are to implement it if the greater populace needs it.
-to decide the future of individuals for your own sake(pls burn in hell to the people invloved because this really happened)
-to get rich for the hard earned money of others.
-you are not above the law.
-what comes up must come down.
-if your famiy is in the name of great politician,the other members aren't.It's not on your name.

Hair today...Gone tomorrow...

I've had long hair for as long as I can remember. One-length, layered, with full bangs, curly, straight...name it, I've had it. I decided to keep it below my shoulder until one day, my whole being screamed for CHANGE. Yes, one moment i just realized I'm tired of my wash and wear hairdo and I wanted something more updated. And so I did.

For the next week or so, I sported a short cropped hair that's completely not so "me". I missed my long hair but I must admit that this new haircut gave me a boost in confidence. As a matter of fact, I am now thinking of keeping it this way for a longer time. I don't like it or hate it, I can only say that its different. But i'll practice the art of faking it until you make it. I will just own it until I grow it...

2012? the end of Humanity?

December 21 2012,a significant date to be noted if you're a believer of Nostradamus or not because he predicted that the world will end that year...Mayan Civilization also predicted this day,and others to.. so why? Are we going to wait till that day to find out if it's true or should change for the betterment of mankind? In the end of Nostradramus picture,the circle of life is gone,and the page in the book is empty.

A question that made me think, is the empty book signifying that the future beyond it is not predicted? Or he leaves us to either fight for our race or destroy it as we all do.. I just want to say we hold our destiny,it is for us to know our consequences in the future. Can we just do the right and easy way than continue the wrong and stupid way?

What can we do? help Mother earth to do it's normal function.
-Just throw your garbage in the right place,don't put them everywhere else that's not called a trash can.
-a little history from the dino era.. when the big rock that hit earth and made the dinos extinct,the world was covered with a thick cloud of CO2,thru the powers of earth and it's natural process.Earth made it into rain and fell on the earth and was placed to our soil. Thru erosion and other things,the C02 particles was converted to fossil deposits or what we call FOSSIL FUELS.. the ones we are using now from the industrial revolution. We are just returning the C02 back to the clouds.. so alternative fuels? anyone?
-Can we just be like Sao Paulo? the cleanest city on earth.
-Change your self for the better.. Don't be an ass..
-Can Muslim extremist and West get along?
-If we all Die,there is no more war,conflicts and other bad things.. are we going to wait for this?
-Prayer helps,putting it to action is what makes it true.Don't be just a dreamer.
-Don't depend on the politicians,believe in yourself that you can be a better person that you are today.
-don't take advantage of the things that will make the society worst even though you think you are just one,but in other places they might think of your ways.

there are other ways to make the world a better place, I'm not perfect but I'm trying to be a better person whose worthy to live in this Earth. I don't know..If everyone will just throw their wrappers of candy everyday.. we are doomed.. this blog is not to entertain the readers.. But to encourage us to be better humans for the sake of our existence.

Something to Ponder

" Failure doesn't mean you are a failure, its just that you haven't succeeded yet."

But when you finally succeed, what comes next? Does it mean a perfect life free from misery, failure and problems which are inevitable as night and day? Does being successful separates us from the cruelty that often comes hand in hand with failure and losing? I sometimes wish we'll all be able to make it. But don't you think its too boring? In the real world, there's this bunch who the society dubbed as successful. And on the other half of the earth, we losers reign supreme. And not for the reason that we haven't achieved any, or we're not making it big in the industry of superficial beings. Its just that neither one of us know what this success thing is all about.

I remember a conversation with a friend during a walk down the streets of Makati one cloudy afternoon in July. We were looking past expensive cars parked along the sidewalks, people sipping a cup of coffee dressed in seemingly designer clothes. I came upon these questions. How do we define success? How can one say that he or she is successful? Is it exactly how the media and the society created it to be? My friend and I are both pissed off by the idea that success means having a luxurious looking car, a house that resembles the white house or our very own Malacanang palace, numerous popular friends who need to socialize every now and then to prove their self-worth...what else? I am very sure that by now, you already have your share of the picture about this so called "successful people"... But how about us? How about the majority of us who pitty ourselves because we believe those things. For the fortunates, success probably mean a once in a lifetime life changing event. But for the unfortunates, it is an everyday experience... an everyday challenge to do better. Success is being able to achieve something you aspire, be it big or small. Success is finding happiness by knowing you have given your best shot, no matter you how many times you almost failed. Success is waking up evryday with a goal in mind and sleeping at night knowing you are one step closer to that goal. It is indeed a state of mind. Its in little things we do that molds us. Its an experience that encourage us to not stop when we reach the finish line, but to continue to work harder even after the race,because life after all, is a race where you have to keep on running and winning and losing and starting all over again from scratch. Do I envy those people who are "successful" because they have everything? Not at all...anyway, as the saying goes: He who has the most toys... still dies.

Thinking out Loud.

Lately, I have been feeling the following:

1.) lost
2.) undecided
3.) restless
4.) insignificant
5.) out of place

This year marked an important event in my life because it has been my transition from being a dependent junkie to complete adulthood. Finally, I earned a degree in college amidst the obstacles I have managed to surpass with flying colors. I remember having daydreams about what I'll be once I step out of college, the possibilities were endless. But here I am, trapped in a world that's completely different from mine. Yesterday, I was having high hopes about my future, today, I'm not so sure. This morning, I woke up with the realization that 2009 isn't my time to shine. Its my time to applaud and watch other people who are having a great year. But its not having bitterness over life, thus, accepting that my star would shine brightest in the years to come. I guess its pretty weird but normal to feel like this when the year is about to end. A part of me is still hoping that things will take a U-turn and head on a better road for me. But for the meantime, I don't mind taking the backseat like I used to, and cheer for loved ones who are successfully making their way to the top. And though I am not playing a big part in this stage play called life for now, I will be the best that I can be in the role that l have. Here's a few part of a poem I chanced upon when I was in high school. It has been my constant motivation since then.

"Hold on to your dream, not too tightly for it might break... Not too loosely for it might slip away. Just hold on to your dream, and it will find you."

Here's hoping for great opportunities come 2010 with my fingers crossed and with my dreams surrendered to a power greater than mine. A power that can only be God's. I know he's just sitting there somewhere near the front row, being the audience he has always been. If all the world is a stage and God is the director who's constantly checking up on our performances...then I better start proving myself worthy of that center stage. I'll keep you posted ;)

ONDOY-act of God,Massive floods in the metro-act of Man

Recent events were really bad like Ondoy,the worst rain he shed upon us is very tragic. The ever majestic typhoon is an act of God because it's the process of our mother earth. But such greed and irresponsibility is an act of man. I don't mean to point the blame on people.
1.) Global warming-act of man,the earth is just doing its job ever since it started,we the human race are irresponsible as always.
2.) Floods-act of man,irresponsible disposing of garbage,greed in building new subdivisions in the mountains, DENR such an ass for not catching up the illegal loggers.
3.) Stupidity of man-act of man,informal settlers who don't care and their only reasons are we have no money. you have a life in the province yet you still think Manila is kewl..
4.) Faggot Politicians-act of man,you vote for them,then they steal money from you,and hide in such big mansions away from danger while millions of people are dying.
5.) Typhoon Ondoy-act of God,you blame this incident but you don't see the other factors that contributed to this event.We made it worst because of the four things we did.

So do we still blame Ondoy?

2009 Food List Worthy of your Everything...

and when i say everything, it means your precious time, hard earned money and unsolicited praise! These are the foods that made me care less about my weight and figure. Eat...and be merry...

1. Sbarro- Chicago Deep Dish Stuffed Pizza, Baked Zitti with Meatballs (enjoy it more with hot sauce)
2. Sinangag Express- Tapsilog, Liemsilog (great with caramel sundae, humanap ka na lang kung san meron)
3. Burger King- Whopper, Onion rings (whaa! kelan ba ulit anniversary nila para may promo?)
4. Kuya Manong (sa harap ng Manila Pavillon)- Squid balls!!!! with C2 lemon ;)
5. Pao tsin- Sharks fin, Beef wanton, Buko juice!
6. Chansel Pizza- Beef and mushroom!!!!
7. Siomai House- eh di siomai syempre.
8. Taco Bell- Fiesta Potato, Burritos, Nachos, Bottomless Iced Tea!
9. Jollibee- Spaghetti with Spicy Chicken (thigh the best! breast? loser!!!! hehe), super sized french fries, Burger
10. I'll leave this one blank coz i'm yet to taste something new...hehe... I'm eyeing for KFC's Pizza Wrap blah-blah...

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head...

and at times, it pours drastically that I dont have much time to find myself a shelter to run to. One moment, it was all warm and sunny, but just in time when I was basking into that wonderful feeling, it was gone so soon. I don't want anybody raining on my parade, but I was always caught red-handed. I guess I am forever unprepared. Some would stop and offer a helping hand, i must be soaking really bad that others notice. But i keep on walking under the tiny drops of rain that seemed to be heavier each time. I never grew tired of waiting for sun shine. I always believe it is just hidding its face behind thick clouds, resigning from being too familiar. I wonder if i became too familiar for eveyone that I need to hide for awhile to regain self-worth. What i don't like much about it is that sometimes, rain pours so hard it washes out everything already, even that burning fire within you that keeps you standing steadfast in that old street known as romanceville.

On a train bound to north, i was looking past the window. Heavy rains pouring outside,feeling nostalgic. Remembering I love you's that has lost its old flame... How will i be able to reach my destination, I am again...unprepared. Will I ever be? I'll know the answer until the next rain pouring on my head.

O-M-G!!

Ohh my Gibo! nasan ka na? ikaw ay isang Grad ng Harvard at bar topnotcher at may so called info-mercial pa.. ngunit nasan ka na pagkatapos ng bagyong Ondoy? panu na pag naging president ka pa? ilang ondoy pa ang dadaan para maging worthy ka naman ng boto ng madla? Madaming tao na normal ang nakakagawa ng hindi normal para makatulong sa mga nangangailangan. anong ginagawa mo kung hindi umikot lang ng umikot sa chopper buong araw? ngayong sa ikatlong bagyo simula kay ondoy. ang humuharap na lang sa tv ay spokesperson ng NDCC? bakit?

To the aspiring presidents:
BAYANI-simple at practical,sadyang di ka lang talaga maintindihan ng mga taong tinagalog na ngunit gusto pa din magpakapasaway.
VILLAR-Magaling-wag mu lang ihalo ang business sa politics at nakakturn off ka dahil gumamit ka ng kanta ng 6 cycle..hehe
JAMBI-ha? natangay ka na ba ng bagyo?
CHIZ-maappeal sa masang bata,kamuhka ni bamboo,idealistic,gawin mo namang totoo mga ideas mu.. at biglang naging baduy dahil sa gusto niyang mangyari na ipasa lahat ng students dahil sa mga calamities.. ok siya pakinggan pero nagpapakahirap kame sa grade.. mas nakakagaan ng loob na pinaghirapan ang grade.
NOYNOY-pangarap ko na ituloy mo ang demokrasya ng pinas.. magiging icon ka.. sana naman gumawa ka ng action.
ERAP-nagsawa na ang pinoy sa matalino kaya ka sinubukan.. pumalya ka na.. guguho na ang pinas pag naulit..

solusyon sa Pinas? wag umasa sa Gobyerno.. simula magbago sa sarili mo..
ikaw? kaya mo namang itago ang laman ng kendi mo sa bulsa hangang makahanap ka ng maayus na basurahan.. kayong may celfone na loud speaker,hindi gusto ng nasa piligid mo ang kanta na pinatutugtog mo,sana mahulog celfone mo at masira,nakakadagdag ka ng noise pollution,wag ka maging buraot.tapos pag maayos na lahat ng pinoy,pasabugin ang NDCC,DENR at ibigay ang pera sa PAGASA para naman may worth lahat ng pinag hihirapan nila. Hindi naman matatauhan mga politicians natin e.. Tulad ni Gus,malapit na ang election at gumagawa ng subliminal na message parang ganito

every body has the right to(in very small letters kahit 20/20 di mababasa VOTE(super big font)
a public msg from(in very small letters na naman) gus(anu pa ba? super laking font na naman)
so maiintindihan mo lang e vote Gus.. bongga di ba?
nung PPCRV pa ako may rule na no campaign materials 20meters from the precint.. so anu ginawa? nagdonate siya ng tubig sa bawat presinto ng may pangalan niya so makikita ng lahat ng botante.. buti nakita ko kaya pinatanggal lahat.. haynaku..
isa pa ang polwatchers ng mga kandidato,napakalaki ng pangalan nila sa I.D. e di nga sila nangangampanya pero makita ang pangalan nila bago bumoto alam na.. madadala ang mga ibang hunghang na botante.. haynaku... kaya takot macomputerized ang election,hindi sila makakapag dayaan.. ewan ko.. basta kung lahat tayo mabuting mamayan e maayus pinas.. pag nakakita kayo snatcher at holdaper,kuyugin niyo bago pa dumating ang pulis para naman maavenge niyo ung mga nabiktima nila.. sana mga pulitikong magnanakaw e makuyug natin noh? karamihan e magnanakaw din tulad nila,nakabarong lang sila at mukhang kagalang galang.. dapat ipatugtug sa paligid nila palage ang kanta ni Gloc 9 na Upuan,sapul sapul sa butas ng pwet ng pulitiko yung kanta na iyon..

I...HER...YOU...

I wish to be HER, so i won't have to be reminded of this pain.
I wish to be HER, so i'd hear you defend of me the same way.
I wish to be HER, so i won't need to wonder if you're together.
I wish to be HER, because "I" is just hurting.

"I" tried to tell you that it weakens every part of me.
You still refuse to see.
You still refuse to hear.
You're quick to take HER side.

Do "I" need to bear this pain of knowing you're with HER.
It's as if the years are shortened into months.
The months are shortened into weeks.
Weeks are shortened into days.
And our days become unsure.

It's sad to see the truth right on my face.
My heart was crying tears my eyes can't show.
I was hoping the world will just swallow me whole.
So i can escape from what I don't want to see and know.

How can "I" think of "You" now after that night
without remembering "HER" by your side?
Last night "I" even saw you in my dream together.
I wish "HER" not to be part of our lives.
But you won't care if it's bleeding my heart to death.

I guess "I" will just wish to be "HER" instead.

DAMNED...AGAIN...

Di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
Di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako'y iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, 'di mapakinabangan
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam

Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako'y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa'yo

LUMIPAS MGA ARAW NA UBOD NG SAYA
'Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako'y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

'DI MO LANG ALAM
AKO'Y YONG NASAKTAN
BAKA SAKALI LANG MAISIP MO NAMAN
PURO SYA NA LANG!
SANA'Y AKO NAMAN...
'Di mo lang alam
Ika'y minamasdan
SANA'Y YONG MAMALAYANG HINDI MOLANG PALA ALAM.


oo- up dharma down

a battle i can never win.

pothpoth...

Masaya ngunit umaapaw ang poot..
Mga ngiti ng punong puno ng luha..
Bunga ng pagmamahal ay tinik...
Aking tanggulan,ngunit nadadama'y pasakit..

Masayang simula san na napunta..
Pangakong sinambit biglang sumikip..
Salitang matamis naging mapait..
Mainit mong haplos,sampal na masakit..

Kaligayhang natuyo...
Luhang hindi na matigil..
Sugat lumalim bawat sandali..
Pag-ibig umaapaw ng hinagpis..

Nasan unang nadama..
pakiramdam na hinahanap..
langit ay abot tabi..
ngayon impyerno lang...

Ilaw na unting naglaho..
hangin unting nilalason..
ang aking buhay..
ang aking katapusan..

Bulag ka sa luha ko..
Bingi ka sa tawag ko..
Manhid ka sa kalabit ko..
Iyong mahal,Di mo pansin..

Ako'y Puno pa din,
Pagmamahal tulad ng dati..
Umaasa na dumating ang araw,
Madama ang unang nadama..

-I love you.. I'm so sorry....

P-A-R-A-S-I-T-E-S

I wish if i am the president i would remove all the parasites in our Country.
Here is what i see..

-barkers in the PUV's harm the income of the drivers.They just shout the route of the PUV and that's it.When You don't give coins they will hit your ride.
-The guys who pretend to help you in your parking.But they really don't. they just wave there hands.
-when it rains.. the topless boys who throw soap in your windshield and then clean it.. wtf?
-the politicians? almost all of them
-the Musicians who just love to revive the hit songs.. don't take it literally.. almost all musicians do it.. i'm just pertaining to the "musikero" who are in the top of the scene and just revive the song to be their hit like B_____ -P________a they didn't asked for permission to the family of my friend.
-user-friendly people...

Jeepneys

Jeepneys are the pride of our Country but.... wtf?

-they see a magic line from the road that gets them to passengers and lots of traffic.
-my frickin UST ride from Manila City Hall to UST is around 15 to 30 minutes.
-they know who to bribe for the police for the violation they do every day,hour, minute(it's usually a takatap boy near him)
-when it's go.. they stop.. when it's stop they go! go! go!
-they can make there own terminal anywhere..
-DOH must check the jeepney drivers ears because when they hear the word SENIOR or STUDENT,they go deaf.. why? it must an ailment worst than aids..
-sometimes they are above LTRFB, they add 50 cents or One peso to the original fare..
-they have a natural gothic black french tip style in their fingersnails.
-they smoke and don't care about the passengers.
-sometimes they have a very slippery seat that can take you to front to back vice versa.
-the jeepney in the line with barker tells paalis na! after 30 mins they still tell paalis na! the jeepney haven't budged an inch.
-inspite the cons i tell,they still bring pride in our country i just wish they would be doing their service efficiently..

eye for an eye,tooth for tooth

when i rule the world.. this is my only law but sort of edited..=)

-the holdapers and snatchers hands will be cut off using a bread knife until it's removed.
-people who steal money will be coined to death.(like stoned to death)
-disrepectful drivers specially in the moonwalk las piñas will have their lips stapled and then thrown in the pit like in the movie 300.
-politicians who indulgde in gluttony will cut be down until they die using papercut ways
-horny and maniac people who stare in such seducing dresses and curves of women. their nipples will be cut down using a nail cutter.
-drug addicts will be injected to be continued.. hehe..sorry..

it's election time!

Haha.. it's fun to see politicians one year before the election..
it's only the time for them to do some "public service"

-they love to do waiting sheds,o how nice but it isn't used that much just for the rain.they don't do it in strategic locations for commuters to wait for the ride.
-they love to put tarpaulins and say that they care.
-they love to fix roads,even though it's just not an important one and not destroyed.. they will demolish it and do the road.. and how ironic that the life span of the road is just exact after they are elected again to be fixed..
-they love to put advocacy ads that doesn't help us in our lives.. im also from tondo,im not conyo,i don't use my very long time fiancee to boost my popularity,i don't use celebrity.. in not a politician anyway.. what the fuck.. advertisement doesn't help our economy to rise.
-they love to put each other down just for them to be exposed more in television..
-they also help the members of the famuly to have a position in the government.. they say it's free scholarship from kuya B.... but it's just the money of the gov't

other ways to do other that eat a meal worth 1 million pesos

One congressman said it's ONLY 1 million pesos.. but to us middle class to lower class population which makes most of the population, it's a lot of damn money. I could-

-buy a small house and a 2nd hand car
-i could enroll in college again without help of my parents.
-i could donate it to the church(why not)
-i'm a drummer,so i could buy the latest gears
-i could invest in such business like a small studio,or buy a franchise of some small food stands
-i could buy lots of candies and lots of c2
-i could eat many fine dining resto here and not consume the million in one eating even though i treat a whole orchestra
-i could venture in computer shop business and let other customers write a blog about the stupendous meal worth 1million
-i could give the money to such NGO's that only depends on donations but does a lot more than a politician..
-my point,there are million better ways to spend the million other that eating it in one night.

Hi! I'm Teacher Van...Say What?

Mag aral tayo ng English...
Adjectives: Miserable, Toxic
Noun: Office, Vanessa
Pronoun: Panu kung bisexual? he o she? it na lang.
Verbs: Talk (pero non-stop)

duh.
ilan lang yan sa mga bitterness na may significance sa buhay ko ngayon. Nausog ko yata kagabi yung trabaho ko, kasi from being a wallflower na walang ginagawa at nakatunganga mag hapon dahil wala pa kong student na tinututuan mag english, ngayon naman hinulugan ako ng langit ng 11 students LANG NAMAN! pero pasalamat narin ako kasi sabi nila konti lang yun, so mag panic ako pag mga 30 students na...ano?!!! whaaa!! ang hirap maging korean english teacher. Lagpas isang taon ko na halos to ginagawa, at ilang beses ko na rin sinumpa. Ayoko na sana balikan pa, pero ayoko din maging bum. Hindi madali maghanap ng trabaho ang fresh grad na katulad ko, talo talo narin to. kainins yang mga koreano na yan, kala mo kung sino. Kailangan ko pa mag panggap na hindi pilipino dahil ayaw nila ng asian. Katwiran nila asian din sila. Lagpas langit ang pride, wala naman alam kung hindi makinabang sa katalinuhan ng iba. Eh anu naman kung asian tayo pareho, eh nung nag hulog ng katalinuhan ang langit nsa kusina ang mga koreano at nag gagawa ng kimchi, habang ang mga pinoy nasa kanto tumatagay! kaya saten napuntga ang katalinuhan. Amen? Amen! Nakakairita talaga, nasira ang araw ko. Gusto ko silang pag tripan at sabihin at the end of the class na pinoy ako, eh di naisahan kita ngayon? pero syempre malapit na ang sweldo, kaya ititikom ko na lang ang bibig ko sa ngalan ng anda. carry nayon... anu ba ang kinahihimutok ko? actually, hindi kasi ko nakakain ng ice cream ngayon ;( dahil wala kong time bumaba. yun lang yun.

You're the Best I've Ever Had... Lately.

katamaran.
marami yan patutunguhan.
pero hindi naman ako palaging tamad eh, minsan wala lang talaga ko magawa. Araww-araw nasa trabaho ko na literal na nakatunganga sa harap ng pc. Kung dati sabik ako mag internet, ngayon suko talaga ko, ako na ang umaayaw. wantusawang net ba naman eh, ang hirap maging trainee, parang walang tiwala sayo na kaya mo na magtrabaho. kaya maya't maya sumasama ko sa mga pips na bumababa sa labas ng building, sinisinghot ko yung usok ng yosi nila para mawala ang antok ko. Nakakatuwa, lagi kami napupunta sa mini stop, nung una para lang sa utos ng kung sino sino. Pero ang saya may promo sila ng hershey's ice cream. Pamatay grabe! Kaya tuwing tinatamad ako, hinahatak ako ng paa ko pababa ng building para magpaka baliw sa ice cream na yan. Nakakawala ng badtrip eh, mas okay pa kesa makipag chismisan. Pero syempre ang buhay kill joy yan, ikalulungkot ko ang araw na matapos na ang promo ng hersheys at mawala na yung 15 pesos na ice cream ko. kung kinakailangan ko bumili araw araw para magtagal pa sya sa kinalalagyan nya gagawin ko. Bakit hindi nalang maging permanente ang mga bagay bagay na maganda? Sa ngayon eto lang ang kaligayahan ko ;) life's simple pleasure na malamang panandalian lang.

Self-proclaimed Masochista

huh?
anu yun?
"diba nagttrabaho yun sa bar? haha! putcha, malaki pa siguro kita nun sakin. "

minsan iniisip ko kung tanga lang ba talaga ko o sadyang inosente sa maraming bagay. sabagay, masisisi mo ba ko na hindi sanay sa mga salitang kanto eh lumaki naman akong walang kausap. three years ago, habang nakatambay ako sa trabaho, tinanong ako ng bestfriend ko kung break na kami ng magaling kong boyfriend na walang alam gawin kung di hanapan ako ng mali sa buong pagkatao ko. hobby nya yun eh, kung bakit, di ko na inalam. sa katagalan kasi nawalan na ko ng pakelam.

"kami parin syempre, kahit naman isang libong beses ako makipaghiwalay dun di yun tatablan", ang kagagahan kong pangangatwiran...

"masochista ka, bahala ka sa buhay mo" , ang sagot ni bff.

at ang mga sumunod ay ang walang kauturan kong tanung, eh first time ko narinig yun eh. natawa lang talaga ko. yun lang, it doesnt make any sense to me. pero sa totoo lang di na yun nawala sa isip ko. masochista ba ko? ayon kay mr.webster-wannabe na tropa ko, ang masochista daw ay yung mga tao na nasasaktan pero nakakaramdam parin ng pleasure o satisfaction. mga taong nag eenjoy sa sakit...nagpapakalugmok, parang ganun.

ewan ko ba, siguro nga masochista ko.
mas malinaw na palusot yun at mas madaling tanggapin kesa paniwalaang nagtatangatangahan ako noon.
ilang taon na ang nakalipas pero ganun parin ako, walang effort mag bago. nagpapakalugmok parin sa mga bagay na puro sakit lang naman ang napapala ko.

pero sabi nga nila, "no pain, no gain."
minsan-minsan may katiting din naman na saya na biglang sumusulpot sa kabila ng sakit.

yun nga ba? o sadyang pinaka mahirap lang gisingin ay yung nagtutulug-tulugan?

both na lang ;)

Ang Una Kong SEX Experience

ganito yan eh. sabihin na lang natin na masarap talaga pag first time. april 11- 3rd anniversary namen ni alvin. syempre excited ang lola mo. every year nakasanayan na namin mag plano. pero hindi ngayon. siguro nagkatamaran kami kasi nga naman, san nga ba kami magliliwaliw eh black saturday. february pa lang talaga praning na praning na ko eh, pag tinatanong ko naman ang magaling kong boyfrend puro bahala na ang sagot. ayan tuloy, thursday, dalawang araw bago ang anniv na yan, nag world war 3 pa kami. eh feeling ko tinatamad sya eh, habang ako excited. pero hindi naman pala, kaya 30 minutes bago mag alas dose nung april 11, naisipan ko na makipag bati. pero san nga ba kami pupunta? bwisit, bahala na.ayun na nga, nakisali pa yung panahon, medyo di pangkaraniwan yung init, nag mall muna kami. san pa ba? eh di sa town center na lang at least dun cool yung mga tao, mga conyo. hehe, marami kami magagawa, kasi marami kami makukutya. hobby kasi namin yun, magparamihan ng points sa makakasalubong na:

1,) may dalang baso ng starbucks na katiting na lang ang laman

2.) mag dyowa na tibo

3.) success story (t.h. na babae+jowa na kano)

nakakapagod din pala mang gago ng mga tao minsan, naisipan na lang namin mag chill.pinili namin syempre yung muka kaming mayabang. dun kami sa nsa gitna ang location. the coffee bean is the place to be. medyo bitter kami habang iniinom ang so called "caramel shake" ???? kainis eh, san lupalop ba nangaling yung caramel na nilagay dun para malagasan kami ng 320.00??? eh hibla lang naman yung caramel na nakita ko na nakalagay dun. nagkasundo kami na every 15 minutes lang kami iinom pra medyo bawi bawi nga naman. LOL. kaya ayun, lahat ng pwede namin pag tsismisan eh go go go. pero mayat maya kami nagiging bitter pag naaalala namin yung 320. may mga what if's...(parang break up lang) katulad ng pano kung nag quickly na lang kami, o kaya konti na lang yung fave meal na sana namin sa sbarro...at eto ang malupit, sana nag caramel sundae na lang kami sa mc do. sana halos 12 pcs. din ang nabili namin, tag anim sana kami, tignan ko lang kung matakam pa kami sa caramel sa loob ng sampung taon. eh kaso mga maarte kami, gusto namin dun.

nung gabi na, naisip namin lumipat kung saan, on the way eh may nakita ko at tinuro ko sa kanya. bigla syang nag yaya bumaba! teka muna bakit dun, nag dalawang isip ako, eh malay ko ba kung masarap yun, pero gusto nya eh, mapilit. eh di go na. at yun ang bumuo sa araw ko ng hindi ko inaasahan. mula non hinahanap hanap ko na talaga, no joke! try mo din, masarap promise. Sinangag Express- also popularly known as SEX. Sarap, may tapsi,longsi,liemsi,etc...etc...bsta may itlog un lahat. tapos lagyan mo maraming ketchup!!! may chilled taho pa, pero di ko pa natikman, marami pa namang next time ;)

located at:

Pedro gil

Las Pinas

Paranaque

san pa ba? may alam ka?

* mag caramel sundae ka na rin pagtapos

anu, asar ka no? wholesome 'to.

WITH SHATTERED HEART AND TATTERED SOUL.

I feel sorry for myself. I regret that i never try to learn from past mistakes that i always end up doing just the same. I remember starting out just perfectly fine. I have loved, trusted enough, lived life to it's fullest. I didn't wish to be fooled. Nobody did i am sure. But while in the midst of incomparable happiness. loneliness struck me with its painful fang. I bled to death yet remained still. I cried sea of tears for a once happy yesterday i was in. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that moment, neither to the company of trust. Never did i wanted to let go. But somebody just stole it away... and when he gave it back to me, it was all broken into pieces i can hardly glue back. What did i do wrong to deserve such punishment? I was left with only two choices which both lead to self-destruction. Either i run away to save myself or be brave enough to touch the broken pieces of my trust. I chose to stay, between leaving the one you love and working on a broken trust, i found the latter tolerable. But i was wrong. Every moment that i try to pick up the pieces, i end up wounding myself. Wounds that came one after the other. It seemed like time never healed it because i never wanted to. I want to nurture the pain so i can live stronger. I forgot that the wound has to heal so i might learn the lesson of forgiveness. Now that i've turned into somebody who will do everything to protect herself from further pain, nobody wants to be with me. As if i wanted to be this way. I am just a product of their selfless actions, but now, i am the one to suffer. I obsessed over the broken trust i desperately wanted to glue back, so i can love again like i've never been hurt...but in the process of putting the pieces back, i got broken,too. Yet this time, i am left lying shattered with no one to pick me up and try to make me whole.

Guni-Guni

Nasan kaya ang mga panahon na walang pagsidlan ang saya? Tila napag iwanan nako ng mga magagandang bagay sa buhay ko na dati naman ay nandyan lang. Isang araw nagising na lang ako na puno ng takot. Bawat paghinga ay may kirot sa dibdib ko, na para bang nagbabadya ng isang masamang pangyayari. Sa katagalan pakiramdam ko nagbago silang lahat. Hindi ko naman ginusto pero sumabay ako sa pagbabago. Bakit nga ba? Masaya naman ako bilang ako. Ganun yata talaga, ang pagbabago ay hinihingi ng panahon. Sa bawat hakbang na tinatahak ko, hinanap ko yung sarili ko. Naramdaman ko na tila anino na lang ako na naglalakbay sa kawalan. At sa hindi inaasahang sandali, may nakita akong ibang tao kasama ko sa paglalakbay. Malungkot. Galit. Puno ng takot. Pinagmasdan ko sya, pero wala palang magagawa ang mga tingin. Inakala ko na isa lamang syang guni guni. Ngunit hindi pala. Sya pala ay ang totoong ako. Sya na pala ang nakikita ng lahat. At ako? hindi na nila ko nakikta. Kasama ko ang iba pang anino ng mga taong binago ng panahon. Magmamasid sa dahan dahang pagkalugmok ng lahat sa kalungkutan dala ng galit at takot...