WITH SHATTERED HEART AND TATTERED SOUL.

I feel sorry for myself. I regret that i never try to learn from past mistakes that i always end up doing just the same. I remember starting out just perfectly fine. I have loved, trusted enough, lived life to it's fullest. I didn't wish to be fooled. Nobody did i am sure. But while in the midst of incomparable happiness. loneliness struck me with its painful fang. I bled to death yet remained still. I cried sea of tears for a once happy yesterday i was in. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that moment, neither to the company of trust. Never did i wanted to let go. But somebody just stole it away... and when he gave it back to me, it was all broken into pieces i can hardly glue back. What did i do wrong to deserve such punishment? I was left with only two choices which both lead to self-destruction. Either i run away to save myself or be brave enough to touch the broken pieces of my trust. I chose to stay, between leaving the one you love and working on a broken trust, i found the latter tolerable. But i was wrong. Every moment that i try to pick up the pieces, i end up wounding myself. Wounds that came one after the other. It seemed like time never healed it because i never wanted to. I want to nurture the pain so i can live stronger. I forgot that the wound has to heal so i might learn the lesson of forgiveness. Now that i've turned into somebody who will do everything to protect herself from further pain, nobody wants to be with me. As if i wanted to be this way. I am just a product of their selfless actions, but now, i am the one to suffer. I obsessed over the broken trust i desperately wanted to glue back, so i can love again like i've never been hurt...but in the process of putting the pieces back, i got broken,too. Yet this time, i am left lying shattered with no one to pick me up and try to make me whole.