ICE QUEEN

Eversince i started feeling this way, I started loving myself less. Let me travel into that tomorrow where I can say I'm not the person I am today. I used to be ice queen...selfish...self centered. For me, if you want my attention and time, work hard on it. I don't remember myself being too available for anyone. I hardly wait for someone for more than an hour because it pisses me off big time. I know how to love, but I am more inclined in receiving than giving. Whenever I got hurt by someone, my first impulse is to get even. Well, for a long time, I resorted in believing that its better to play safe on love and not dwell on it too romantically till you don't even recognize yourself. Loving less is minimizing the possible hurt bound to make its way on you. Then it happened. Somebody told me to free myself because happiness is just waiting. I hesitated countless times, but it was so enticing i never imagined falling on too hard. It melted the coldness within me till i almost believed it was meant to be this way. Or was it? Now, i question myself if I still have reasons to stay. Love became too fierce it started to burn already. I long to be that selfish, self centered girl again, hard as rock, cold as ice. But when i do, i melt as soon as i start to.