eye for an eye,tooth for tooth

when i rule the world.. this is my only law but sort of edited..=)

-the holdapers and snatchers hands will be cut off using a bread knife until it's removed.
-people who steal money will be coined to death.(like stoned to death)
-disrepectful drivers specially in the moonwalk las piñas will have their lips stapled and then thrown in the pit like in the movie 300.
-politicians who indulgde in gluttony will cut be down until they die using papercut ways
-horny and maniac people who stare in such seducing dresses and curves of women. their nipples will be cut down using a nail cutter.
-drug addicts will be injected to be continued.. hehe..sorry..

it's election time!

Haha.. it's fun to see politicians one year before the election..
it's only the time for them to do some "public service"

-they love to do waiting sheds,o how nice but it isn't used that much just for the rain.they don't do it in strategic locations for commuters to wait for the ride.
-they love to put tarpaulins and say that they care.
-they love to fix roads,even though it's just not an important one and not destroyed.. they will demolish it and do the road.. and how ironic that the life span of the road is just exact after they are elected again to be fixed..
-they love to put advocacy ads that doesn't help us in our lives.. im also from tondo,im not conyo,i don't use my very long time fiancee to boost my popularity,i don't use celebrity.. in not a politician anyway.. what the fuck.. advertisement doesn't help our economy to rise.
-they love to put each other down just for them to be exposed more in television..
-they also help the members of the famuly to have a position in the government.. they say it's free scholarship from kuya B.... but it's just the money of the gov't

other ways to do other that eat a meal worth 1 million pesos

One congressman said it's ONLY 1 million pesos.. but to us middle class to lower class population which makes most of the population, it's a lot of damn money. I could-

-buy a small house and a 2nd hand car
-i could enroll in college again without help of my parents.
-i could donate it to the church(why not)
-i'm a drummer,so i could buy the latest gears
-i could invest in such business like a small studio,or buy a franchise of some small food stands
-i could buy lots of candies and lots of c2
-i could eat many fine dining resto here and not consume the million in one eating even though i treat a whole orchestra
-i could venture in computer shop business and let other customers write a blog about the stupendous meal worth 1million
-i could give the money to such NGO's that only depends on donations but does a lot more than a politician..
-my point,there are million better ways to spend the million other that eating it in one night.

Hi! I'm Teacher Van...Say What?

Mag aral tayo ng English...
Adjectives: Miserable, Toxic
Noun: Office, Vanessa
Pronoun: Panu kung bisexual? he o she? it na lang.
Verbs: Talk (pero non-stop)

duh.
ilan lang yan sa mga bitterness na may significance sa buhay ko ngayon. Nausog ko yata kagabi yung trabaho ko, kasi from being a wallflower na walang ginagawa at nakatunganga mag hapon dahil wala pa kong student na tinututuan mag english, ngayon naman hinulugan ako ng langit ng 11 students LANG NAMAN! pero pasalamat narin ako kasi sabi nila konti lang yun, so mag panic ako pag mga 30 students na...ano?!!! whaaa!! ang hirap maging korean english teacher. Lagpas isang taon ko na halos to ginagawa, at ilang beses ko na rin sinumpa. Ayoko na sana balikan pa, pero ayoko din maging bum. Hindi madali maghanap ng trabaho ang fresh grad na katulad ko, talo talo narin to. kainins yang mga koreano na yan, kala mo kung sino. Kailangan ko pa mag panggap na hindi pilipino dahil ayaw nila ng asian. Katwiran nila asian din sila. Lagpas langit ang pride, wala naman alam kung hindi makinabang sa katalinuhan ng iba. Eh anu naman kung asian tayo pareho, eh nung nag hulog ng katalinuhan ang langit nsa kusina ang mga koreano at nag gagawa ng kimchi, habang ang mga pinoy nasa kanto tumatagay! kaya saten napuntga ang katalinuhan. Amen? Amen! Nakakairita talaga, nasira ang araw ko. Gusto ko silang pag tripan at sabihin at the end of the class na pinoy ako, eh di naisahan kita ngayon? pero syempre malapit na ang sweldo, kaya ititikom ko na lang ang bibig ko sa ngalan ng anda. carry nayon... anu ba ang kinahihimutok ko? actually, hindi kasi ko nakakain ng ice cream ngayon ;( dahil wala kong time bumaba. yun lang yun.

You're the Best I've Ever Had... Lately.

katamaran.
marami yan patutunguhan.
pero hindi naman ako palaging tamad eh, minsan wala lang talaga ko magawa. Araww-araw nasa trabaho ko na literal na nakatunganga sa harap ng pc. Kung dati sabik ako mag internet, ngayon suko talaga ko, ako na ang umaayaw. wantusawang net ba naman eh, ang hirap maging trainee, parang walang tiwala sayo na kaya mo na magtrabaho. kaya maya't maya sumasama ko sa mga pips na bumababa sa labas ng building, sinisinghot ko yung usok ng yosi nila para mawala ang antok ko. Nakakatuwa, lagi kami napupunta sa mini stop, nung una para lang sa utos ng kung sino sino. Pero ang saya may promo sila ng hershey's ice cream. Pamatay grabe! Kaya tuwing tinatamad ako, hinahatak ako ng paa ko pababa ng building para magpaka baliw sa ice cream na yan. Nakakawala ng badtrip eh, mas okay pa kesa makipag chismisan. Pero syempre ang buhay kill joy yan, ikalulungkot ko ang araw na matapos na ang promo ng hersheys at mawala na yung 15 pesos na ice cream ko. kung kinakailangan ko bumili araw araw para magtagal pa sya sa kinalalagyan nya gagawin ko. Bakit hindi nalang maging permanente ang mga bagay bagay na maganda? Sa ngayon eto lang ang kaligayahan ko ;) life's simple pleasure na malamang panandalian lang.

Self-proclaimed Masochista

huh?
anu yun?
"diba nagttrabaho yun sa bar? haha! putcha, malaki pa siguro kita nun sakin. "

minsan iniisip ko kung tanga lang ba talaga ko o sadyang inosente sa maraming bagay. sabagay, masisisi mo ba ko na hindi sanay sa mga salitang kanto eh lumaki naman akong walang kausap. three years ago, habang nakatambay ako sa trabaho, tinanong ako ng bestfriend ko kung break na kami ng magaling kong boyfriend na walang alam gawin kung di hanapan ako ng mali sa buong pagkatao ko. hobby nya yun eh, kung bakit, di ko na inalam. sa katagalan kasi nawalan na ko ng pakelam.

"kami parin syempre, kahit naman isang libong beses ako makipaghiwalay dun di yun tatablan", ang kagagahan kong pangangatwiran...

"masochista ka, bahala ka sa buhay mo" , ang sagot ni bff.

at ang mga sumunod ay ang walang kauturan kong tanung, eh first time ko narinig yun eh. natawa lang talaga ko. yun lang, it doesnt make any sense to me. pero sa totoo lang di na yun nawala sa isip ko. masochista ba ko? ayon kay mr.webster-wannabe na tropa ko, ang masochista daw ay yung mga tao na nasasaktan pero nakakaramdam parin ng pleasure o satisfaction. mga taong nag eenjoy sa sakit...nagpapakalugmok, parang ganun.

ewan ko ba, siguro nga masochista ko.
mas malinaw na palusot yun at mas madaling tanggapin kesa paniwalaang nagtatangatangahan ako noon.
ilang taon na ang nakalipas pero ganun parin ako, walang effort mag bago. nagpapakalugmok parin sa mga bagay na puro sakit lang naman ang napapala ko.

pero sabi nga nila, "no pain, no gain."
minsan-minsan may katiting din naman na saya na biglang sumusulpot sa kabila ng sakit.

yun nga ba? o sadyang pinaka mahirap lang gisingin ay yung nagtutulug-tulugan?

both na lang ;)

Ang Una Kong SEX Experience

ganito yan eh. sabihin na lang natin na masarap talaga pag first time. april 11- 3rd anniversary namen ni alvin. syempre excited ang lola mo. every year nakasanayan na namin mag plano. pero hindi ngayon. siguro nagkatamaran kami kasi nga naman, san nga ba kami magliliwaliw eh black saturday. february pa lang talaga praning na praning na ko eh, pag tinatanong ko naman ang magaling kong boyfrend puro bahala na ang sagot. ayan tuloy, thursday, dalawang araw bago ang anniv na yan, nag world war 3 pa kami. eh feeling ko tinatamad sya eh, habang ako excited. pero hindi naman pala, kaya 30 minutes bago mag alas dose nung april 11, naisipan ko na makipag bati. pero san nga ba kami pupunta? bwisit, bahala na.ayun na nga, nakisali pa yung panahon, medyo di pangkaraniwan yung init, nag mall muna kami. san pa ba? eh di sa town center na lang at least dun cool yung mga tao, mga conyo. hehe, marami kami magagawa, kasi marami kami makukutya. hobby kasi namin yun, magparamihan ng points sa makakasalubong na:

1,) may dalang baso ng starbucks na katiting na lang ang laman

2.) mag dyowa na tibo

3.) success story (t.h. na babae+jowa na kano)

nakakapagod din pala mang gago ng mga tao minsan, naisipan na lang namin mag chill.pinili namin syempre yung muka kaming mayabang. dun kami sa nsa gitna ang location. the coffee bean is the place to be. medyo bitter kami habang iniinom ang so called "caramel shake" ???? kainis eh, san lupalop ba nangaling yung caramel na nilagay dun para malagasan kami ng 320.00??? eh hibla lang naman yung caramel na nakita ko na nakalagay dun. nagkasundo kami na every 15 minutes lang kami iinom pra medyo bawi bawi nga naman. LOL. kaya ayun, lahat ng pwede namin pag tsismisan eh go go go. pero mayat maya kami nagiging bitter pag naaalala namin yung 320. may mga what if's...(parang break up lang) katulad ng pano kung nag quickly na lang kami, o kaya konti na lang yung fave meal na sana namin sa sbarro...at eto ang malupit, sana nag caramel sundae na lang kami sa mc do. sana halos 12 pcs. din ang nabili namin, tag anim sana kami, tignan ko lang kung matakam pa kami sa caramel sa loob ng sampung taon. eh kaso mga maarte kami, gusto namin dun.

nung gabi na, naisip namin lumipat kung saan, on the way eh may nakita ko at tinuro ko sa kanya. bigla syang nag yaya bumaba! teka muna bakit dun, nag dalawang isip ako, eh malay ko ba kung masarap yun, pero gusto nya eh, mapilit. eh di go na. at yun ang bumuo sa araw ko ng hindi ko inaasahan. mula non hinahanap hanap ko na talaga, no joke! try mo din, masarap promise. Sinangag Express- also popularly known as SEX. Sarap, may tapsi,longsi,liemsi,etc...etc...bsta may itlog un lahat. tapos lagyan mo maraming ketchup!!! may chilled taho pa, pero di ko pa natikman, marami pa namang next time ;)

located at:

Pedro gil

Las Pinas

Paranaque

san pa ba? may alam ka?

* mag caramel sundae ka na rin pagtapos

anu, asar ka no? wholesome 'to.

WITH SHATTERED HEART AND TATTERED SOUL.

I feel sorry for myself. I regret that i never try to learn from past mistakes that i always end up doing just the same. I remember starting out just perfectly fine. I have loved, trusted enough, lived life to it's fullest. I didn't wish to be fooled. Nobody did i am sure. But while in the midst of incomparable happiness. loneliness struck me with its painful fang. I bled to death yet remained still. I cried sea of tears for a once happy yesterday i was in. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that moment, neither to the company of trust. Never did i wanted to let go. But somebody just stole it away... and when he gave it back to me, it was all broken into pieces i can hardly glue back. What did i do wrong to deserve such punishment? I was left with only two choices which both lead to self-destruction. Either i run away to save myself or be brave enough to touch the broken pieces of my trust. I chose to stay, between leaving the one you love and working on a broken trust, i found the latter tolerable. But i was wrong. Every moment that i try to pick up the pieces, i end up wounding myself. Wounds that came one after the other. It seemed like time never healed it because i never wanted to. I want to nurture the pain so i can live stronger. I forgot that the wound has to heal so i might learn the lesson of forgiveness. Now that i've turned into somebody who will do everything to protect herself from further pain, nobody wants to be with me. As if i wanted to be this way. I am just a product of their selfless actions, but now, i am the one to suffer. I obsessed over the broken trust i desperately wanted to glue back, so i can love again like i've never been hurt...but in the process of putting the pieces back, i got broken,too. Yet this time, i am left lying shattered with no one to pick me up and try to make me whole.

Guni-Guni

Nasan kaya ang mga panahon na walang pagsidlan ang saya? Tila napag iwanan nako ng mga magagandang bagay sa buhay ko na dati naman ay nandyan lang. Isang araw nagising na lang ako na puno ng takot. Bawat paghinga ay may kirot sa dibdib ko, na para bang nagbabadya ng isang masamang pangyayari. Sa katagalan pakiramdam ko nagbago silang lahat. Hindi ko naman ginusto pero sumabay ako sa pagbabago. Bakit nga ba? Masaya naman ako bilang ako. Ganun yata talaga, ang pagbabago ay hinihingi ng panahon. Sa bawat hakbang na tinatahak ko, hinanap ko yung sarili ko. Naramdaman ko na tila anino na lang ako na naglalakbay sa kawalan. At sa hindi inaasahang sandali, may nakita akong ibang tao kasama ko sa paglalakbay. Malungkot. Galit. Puno ng takot. Pinagmasdan ko sya, pero wala palang magagawa ang mga tingin. Inakala ko na isa lamang syang guni guni. Ngunit hindi pala. Sya pala ay ang totoong ako. Sya na pala ang nakikita ng lahat. At ako? hindi na nila ko nakikta. Kasama ko ang iba pang anino ng mga taong binago ng panahon. Magmamasid sa dahan dahang pagkalugmok ng lahat sa kalungkutan dala ng galit at takot...

PILOSOPIYA NI BOB ONG

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."
2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."
3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."
6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."
7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."
10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."
11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."
12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."
13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."
14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."
15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."
16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”
17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”
18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"
19. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."


magaling.magaling.magaling.

Dear God

if what's best for me is what you want...
then there's nothing for me to fear
for you know the things that i cherish most...
and you know the things that i need.

you can take those fancy things i own
that can make a person smile
you can take everything that i have
even those that are in style.

but there is just one thing
that i would ask you to leave
for he means so much more than i could explain
that if i could have one wish from you
it would be to make him stay.

God, if it's not too much to ask
let my happiness be with him
and if you would ever grant my wish,
its HIM alone that i need.

In Memory of the Good Times Gone Bad

how does one feel whenever one has to say goodbye to good things in his / her life? does one has to blame herself? will crying be enough to exhaust one's self from pain? will it be best to immerse yourself in the sea of all those good things? when as much as it will give you the happiness you're not yet ready to miss, it will also leave you trapped in a surreal world you dont ever want to find yourself forever. does one has to be willing to accept even the bad stuff just so one can move on? or every waking day will just be a living testimonial that things can never be the same like before. i don't exactly know. but i do know something, that whichever one choses to do, it won't guarrantee a better life...a better morning ahead of you.is it mortal sin to close your eyes to things you don't want to see? if you choose to be blind and pretend to be strong, will you have better judgement over circumstances? will it make you more ideal to other people? if you shut your mouth in times when you want to speak, if you intend to just listen and accept what seems to be deafening to your ears, will it make you understanding? will you be appreciated for that? or be thanked at the least? if you consider others' emotions first and foremost, and decided to leave yours unnoticed, will it stop the good things from ending? will it make you a better person? a better friend? a better boyfriend or girlfriend? for some maybe. for those who haven't seen your worth yet. for those who haven't noticed you've been trying this hard already.i don't want to forget beautiful things. they are always a good source of happiness whenever times are low. it's the cheapest way to feel good when life tastes like bitter candy. but good things do end. either you want to accept it or not. from this day, i'm afraid things will completely change for me people will not be the same like before, happy moments will just bring pain because i don't know what's true anymore. did i only fool myself that's why i had those good memories? or did they truly exist? it's painful that you don't learn from past mistakes, because you rather learn to trust again...just to be hurt even more.the only emotion i am able to recognize at the moment is regret. regret that i only found out recently, that no amount of good things that you do can ever make something last forever.

Masscom Misfit

I remember the first time I entered the university of not merely my choice, where i had a mixture of both excitement and fear. I was such a fragile and naive girl way back and college life was not for me, or so i would like to think. Petty reasons mattered to me like it meant the whole world, i was being my childish, narrow minded self. There were two things that were going around my head at that time. First, if it was a right choice to study in that university, well, let's just say that i chose it because i had used my heart, literally. An ex-love was in that same school and for a girl who was so unsure of herself at that moment, the next best thing was to follow him, enough said. Second, I don't like my course. I have other plans in mind, back then, i wanted to take up Psychology, Culinary Arts or Foreign Service. My father wanted me to study music, my mother wanted me to take up Mass Communication.Pretty obvious, my mother won. After long hours of arguing with her, i gave up. At first, I was acting as if I was doing well, that i was having a great time. Since I had great friends, and though i was clueless about the course i was into, i became comfortable. But just when i was starting to find my place, something terrible happened. There came an opportunity to study abroad but it required me to take up nursing. I refused and my parents did not push through but in return, i couldn't continue with my course either. I stopped for one semester till I was able to convince everyone that my course is fine anyway. When i went back to school, that's when everything started to change. It felt like I was in a whole new world, where running away is not an option. I found it hard to cope up in everything, and, in the middle of my struggle to be back on track, i've found myself unhappy and devastated. I've hated my course, i hate Mass Communication. I am not everything it requires me be. I hate the people i often have no choice but to deal with. They acted so superior, so hard to level up with. So there I was, always taking up the backseat, i never did try to fit in, I've closed my door to new friendships, i don't like them all anyway.I don't ever wanted to be like them. I've tried a lot of times to escape, but God have kept the doors closed. So I continued, for i was able to put my trust in him who have the reasons why I am in this course anyway. Little by little, I became tired of taking the backseat, i became tired of keeping my ideas to myself. Suddenly, i wanted to show everyone around me that I also have what it takes. I became tired of having no one to deal with but myself, so one by one, i had befriend them, and to my shame, a lot of them i have misjudged.Fast forward to the present, i can only smile as i try to be nostalgic. Mass Communication and all the people I've refused to deal with are wonderful. It is a brood of exceptional talents. What i've gone through were not because the course is not a good one or the people are not good either, but, because of me. I failed to grow up and i remained unsure of myself and the things i wanted. I've pretended to fight for something i actually don't have a heart for. I became blinded by my fears and pride, which in the long run, have not taken me anywhere. I can only regret those times i've wasted wallowing and whinning over petty things, but, i am grateful that i've set things right, just in time before i ruined everything. I've come to appreciate the beauty of this world where i am into, which I may not have chosen in the beginning, yet, have nestled me during those times i was busy finding myself.

loving and believing.

For the past two years, i have been sharing my life with Alvin. It was never easy, when we don't belong to the same world. Sometimes, i've gotten used to it, most of the time, i haven't. Alvin studies music, mine is communications. Though we both want the best out of our chosen crafts, we deal with it differently. He is more focused, I, on the other hand, is playing with my emotions. I don't understand, but i see his life as something that is too complicated. A lot of things too do, with so little time. My life is simpler...and boring to be exact. As far as i can remember, i have been trying so hard to fit in, to share the same world with him. From time to time, i go out of my comfort zone to have a taste of his world, but still, i find myself lost in a world that's not my own. Alvin does the same, he seemed comfortable though, he always know how to belong. There are three things that i have to deal with this relationship. One, i am not his top priority, or at least not YET. Not anytine soon. Second, that he's not the usual boyfriend who is always on his way to check on me, my whereabouts, the people i'm with, etc. Lastly, he has a life that will go on with or without me. The first and the last are painful beyond compare, but as time went by, i had mastered from the heart. The second one, i'm still trying to adjust because i'm just not used to it. I was from a relationship where i have to report everything, and still was never enough. So am I happy with this relationship? YES. though i have lots of reasons to be fed up and call it quits with him, i also have countless of reasons to love him. Reasons that are just ordinary, but are very significant. I simply enjoy doing things with him. I love the fact that we can talk non stop about everything, from why north korea is a communist country, to why GREENPEACE is the coolest organization on earth next to PETA. weird? but fun. i love talking to him because he's not afraid to talk about what's on his mind. I also love it when we can be silent for awhile and be confident that there isnt anything wrong. I enjoy eating at an expensive restaurant with him and yet go crazy over our favorite squidballs the next day. I love calling him funny names and talk to him using our own lingo. words thats just between me and him. I always look forward to hanging out with him, to being with him. We may not have the best relationship, but who cares? I love it just how it is.

Paglisan

ang maghangad ng maganda mula sa langit
ay sya kong dalangin, nawa'y maging para sayo
upang kahit saglit lamang na narito ako sa mundo
ay madama mo ang nasa loob ko.

sa iyong tingin ako'y nakuha mo
sa mga salita ako'y naging sayo
sa iyong mga yakap ako'y nabihag mo
ang buo kong mundo'y nagmistulang paraiso.

ngunit umiwas ka at hinangad na lumayo
naiwang walang saysay ang mga pangako
ang iyong paglisan ng walang dahilan
sa aking mundo naging isang kawalan!

sa paglubog ng araw at paglitaw ng buwan
dala ang dalangin na nais kong makamtan
na sana sa muling pagsikat ng araw
ikaw na syang mahal ang muling makasama.