pothpoth...

Masaya ngunit umaapaw ang poot..
Mga ngiti ng punong puno ng luha..
Bunga ng pagmamahal ay tinik...
Aking tanggulan,ngunit nadadama'y pasakit..

Masayang simula san na napunta..
Pangakong sinambit biglang sumikip..
Salitang matamis naging mapait..
Mainit mong haplos,sampal na masakit..

Kaligayhang natuyo...
Luhang hindi na matigil..
Sugat lumalim bawat sandali..
Pag-ibig umaapaw ng hinagpis..

Nasan unang nadama..
pakiramdam na hinahanap..
langit ay abot tabi..
ngayon impyerno lang...

Ilaw na unting naglaho..
hangin unting nilalason..
ang aking buhay..
ang aking katapusan..

Bulag ka sa luha ko..
Bingi ka sa tawag ko..
Manhid ka sa kalabit ko..
Iyong mahal,Di mo pansin..

Ako'y Puno pa din,
Pagmamahal tulad ng dati..
Umaasa na dumating ang araw,
Madama ang unang nadama..

-I love you.. I'm so sorry....

P-A-R-A-S-I-T-E-S

I wish if i am the president i would remove all the parasites in our Country.
Here is what i see..

-barkers in the PUV's harm the income of the drivers.They just shout the route of the PUV and that's it.When You don't give coins they will hit your ride.
-The guys who pretend to help you in your parking.But they really don't. they just wave there hands.
-when it rains.. the topless boys who throw soap in your windshield and then clean it.. wtf?
-the politicians? almost all of them
-the Musicians who just love to revive the hit songs.. don't take it literally.. almost all musicians do it.. i'm just pertaining to the "musikero" who are in the top of the scene and just revive the song to be their hit like B_____ -P________a they didn't asked for permission to the family of my friend.
-user-friendly people...

Jeepneys

Jeepneys are the pride of our Country but.... wtf?

-they see a magic line from the road that gets them to passengers and lots of traffic.
-my frickin UST ride from Manila City Hall to UST is around 15 to 30 minutes.
-they know who to bribe for the police for the violation they do every day,hour, minute(it's usually a takatap boy near him)
-when it's go.. they stop.. when it's stop they go! go! go!
-they can make there own terminal anywhere..
-DOH must check the jeepney drivers ears because when they hear the word SENIOR or STUDENT,they go deaf.. why? it must an ailment worst than aids..
-sometimes they are above LTRFB, they add 50 cents or One peso to the original fare..
-they have a natural gothic black french tip style in their fingersnails.
-they smoke and don't care about the passengers.
-sometimes they have a very slippery seat that can take you to front to back vice versa.
-the jeepney in the line with barker tells paalis na! after 30 mins they still tell paalis na! the jeepney haven't budged an inch.
-inspite the cons i tell,they still bring pride in our country i just wish they would be doing their service efficiently..

eye for an eye,tooth for tooth

when i rule the world.. this is my only law but sort of edited..=)

-the holdapers and snatchers hands will be cut off using a bread knife until it's removed.
-people who steal money will be coined to death.(like stoned to death)
-disrepectful drivers specially in the moonwalk las piñas will have their lips stapled and then thrown in the pit like in the movie 300.
-politicians who indulgde in gluttony will cut be down until they die using papercut ways
-horny and maniac people who stare in such seducing dresses and curves of women. their nipples will be cut down using a nail cutter.
-drug addicts will be injected to be continued.. hehe..sorry..

it's election time!

Haha.. it's fun to see politicians one year before the election..
it's only the time for them to do some "public service"

-they love to do waiting sheds,o how nice but it isn't used that much just for the rain.they don't do it in strategic locations for commuters to wait for the ride.
-they love to put tarpaulins and say that they care.
-they love to fix roads,even though it's just not an important one and not destroyed.. they will demolish it and do the road.. and how ironic that the life span of the road is just exact after they are elected again to be fixed..
-they love to put advocacy ads that doesn't help us in our lives.. im also from tondo,im not conyo,i don't use my very long time fiancee to boost my popularity,i don't use celebrity.. in not a politician anyway.. what the fuck.. advertisement doesn't help our economy to rise.
-they love to put each other down just for them to be exposed more in television..
-they also help the members of the famuly to have a position in the government.. they say it's free scholarship from kuya B.... but it's just the money of the gov't

other ways to do other that eat a meal worth 1 million pesos

One congressman said it's ONLY 1 million pesos.. but to us middle class to lower class population which makes most of the population, it's a lot of damn money. I could-

-buy a small house and a 2nd hand car
-i could enroll in college again without help of my parents.
-i could donate it to the church(why not)
-i'm a drummer,so i could buy the latest gears
-i could invest in such business like a small studio,or buy a franchise of some small food stands
-i could buy lots of candies and lots of c2
-i could eat many fine dining resto here and not consume the million in one eating even though i treat a whole orchestra
-i could venture in computer shop business and let other customers write a blog about the stupendous meal worth 1million
-i could give the money to such NGO's that only depends on donations but does a lot more than a politician..
-my point,there are million better ways to spend the million other that eating it in one night.

Hi! I'm Teacher Van...Say What?

Mag aral tayo ng English...
Adjectives: Miserable, Toxic
Noun: Office, Vanessa
Pronoun: Panu kung bisexual? he o she? it na lang.
Verbs: Talk (pero non-stop)

duh.
ilan lang yan sa mga bitterness na may significance sa buhay ko ngayon. Nausog ko yata kagabi yung trabaho ko, kasi from being a wallflower na walang ginagawa at nakatunganga mag hapon dahil wala pa kong student na tinututuan mag english, ngayon naman hinulugan ako ng langit ng 11 students LANG NAMAN! pero pasalamat narin ako kasi sabi nila konti lang yun, so mag panic ako pag mga 30 students na...ano?!!! whaaa!! ang hirap maging korean english teacher. Lagpas isang taon ko na halos to ginagawa, at ilang beses ko na rin sinumpa. Ayoko na sana balikan pa, pero ayoko din maging bum. Hindi madali maghanap ng trabaho ang fresh grad na katulad ko, talo talo narin to. kainins yang mga koreano na yan, kala mo kung sino. Kailangan ko pa mag panggap na hindi pilipino dahil ayaw nila ng asian. Katwiran nila asian din sila. Lagpas langit ang pride, wala naman alam kung hindi makinabang sa katalinuhan ng iba. Eh anu naman kung asian tayo pareho, eh nung nag hulog ng katalinuhan ang langit nsa kusina ang mga koreano at nag gagawa ng kimchi, habang ang mga pinoy nasa kanto tumatagay! kaya saten napuntga ang katalinuhan. Amen? Amen! Nakakairita talaga, nasira ang araw ko. Gusto ko silang pag tripan at sabihin at the end of the class na pinoy ako, eh di naisahan kita ngayon? pero syempre malapit na ang sweldo, kaya ititikom ko na lang ang bibig ko sa ngalan ng anda. carry nayon... anu ba ang kinahihimutok ko? actually, hindi kasi ko nakakain ng ice cream ngayon ;( dahil wala kong time bumaba. yun lang yun.

You're the Best I've Ever Had... Lately.

katamaran.
marami yan patutunguhan.
pero hindi naman ako palaging tamad eh, minsan wala lang talaga ko magawa. Araww-araw nasa trabaho ko na literal na nakatunganga sa harap ng pc. Kung dati sabik ako mag internet, ngayon suko talaga ko, ako na ang umaayaw. wantusawang net ba naman eh, ang hirap maging trainee, parang walang tiwala sayo na kaya mo na magtrabaho. kaya maya't maya sumasama ko sa mga pips na bumababa sa labas ng building, sinisinghot ko yung usok ng yosi nila para mawala ang antok ko. Nakakatuwa, lagi kami napupunta sa mini stop, nung una para lang sa utos ng kung sino sino. Pero ang saya may promo sila ng hershey's ice cream. Pamatay grabe! Kaya tuwing tinatamad ako, hinahatak ako ng paa ko pababa ng building para magpaka baliw sa ice cream na yan. Nakakawala ng badtrip eh, mas okay pa kesa makipag chismisan. Pero syempre ang buhay kill joy yan, ikalulungkot ko ang araw na matapos na ang promo ng hersheys at mawala na yung 15 pesos na ice cream ko. kung kinakailangan ko bumili araw araw para magtagal pa sya sa kinalalagyan nya gagawin ko. Bakit hindi nalang maging permanente ang mga bagay bagay na maganda? Sa ngayon eto lang ang kaligayahan ko ;) life's simple pleasure na malamang panandalian lang.

Self-proclaimed Masochista

huh?
anu yun?
"diba nagttrabaho yun sa bar? haha! putcha, malaki pa siguro kita nun sakin. "

minsan iniisip ko kung tanga lang ba talaga ko o sadyang inosente sa maraming bagay. sabagay, masisisi mo ba ko na hindi sanay sa mga salitang kanto eh lumaki naman akong walang kausap. three years ago, habang nakatambay ako sa trabaho, tinanong ako ng bestfriend ko kung break na kami ng magaling kong boyfriend na walang alam gawin kung di hanapan ako ng mali sa buong pagkatao ko. hobby nya yun eh, kung bakit, di ko na inalam. sa katagalan kasi nawalan na ko ng pakelam.

"kami parin syempre, kahit naman isang libong beses ako makipaghiwalay dun di yun tatablan", ang kagagahan kong pangangatwiran...

"masochista ka, bahala ka sa buhay mo" , ang sagot ni bff.

at ang mga sumunod ay ang walang kauturan kong tanung, eh first time ko narinig yun eh. natawa lang talaga ko. yun lang, it doesnt make any sense to me. pero sa totoo lang di na yun nawala sa isip ko. masochista ba ko? ayon kay mr.webster-wannabe na tropa ko, ang masochista daw ay yung mga tao na nasasaktan pero nakakaramdam parin ng pleasure o satisfaction. mga taong nag eenjoy sa sakit...nagpapakalugmok, parang ganun.

ewan ko ba, siguro nga masochista ko.
mas malinaw na palusot yun at mas madaling tanggapin kesa paniwalaang nagtatangatangahan ako noon.
ilang taon na ang nakalipas pero ganun parin ako, walang effort mag bago. nagpapakalugmok parin sa mga bagay na puro sakit lang naman ang napapala ko.

pero sabi nga nila, "no pain, no gain."
minsan-minsan may katiting din naman na saya na biglang sumusulpot sa kabila ng sakit.

yun nga ba? o sadyang pinaka mahirap lang gisingin ay yung nagtutulug-tulugan?

both na lang ;)

Ang Una Kong SEX Experience

ganito yan eh. sabihin na lang natin na masarap talaga pag first time. april 11- 3rd anniversary namen ni alvin. syempre excited ang lola mo. every year nakasanayan na namin mag plano. pero hindi ngayon. siguro nagkatamaran kami kasi nga naman, san nga ba kami magliliwaliw eh black saturday. february pa lang talaga praning na praning na ko eh, pag tinatanong ko naman ang magaling kong boyfrend puro bahala na ang sagot. ayan tuloy, thursday, dalawang araw bago ang anniv na yan, nag world war 3 pa kami. eh feeling ko tinatamad sya eh, habang ako excited. pero hindi naman pala, kaya 30 minutes bago mag alas dose nung april 11, naisipan ko na makipag bati. pero san nga ba kami pupunta? bwisit, bahala na.ayun na nga, nakisali pa yung panahon, medyo di pangkaraniwan yung init, nag mall muna kami. san pa ba? eh di sa town center na lang at least dun cool yung mga tao, mga conyo. hehe, marami kami magagawa, kasi marami kami makukutya. hobby kasi namin yun, magparamihan ng points sa makakasalubong na:

1,) may dalang baso ng starbucks na katiting na lang ang laman

2.) mag dyowa na tibo

3.) success story (t.h. na babae+jowa na kano)

nakakapagod din pala mang gago ng mga tao minsan, naisipan na lang namin mag chill.pinili namin syempre yung muka kaming mayabang. dun kami sa nsa gitna ang location. the coffee bean is the place to be. medyo bitter kami habang iniinom ang so called "caramel shake" ???? kainis eh, san lupalop ba nangaling yung caramel na nilagay dun para malagasan kami ng 320.00??? eh hibla lang naman yung caramel na nakita ko na nakalagay dun. nagkasundo kami na every 15 minutes lang kami iinom pra medyo bawi bawi nga naman. LOL. kaya ayun, lahat ng pwede namin pag tsismisan eh go go go. pero mayat maya kami nagiging bitter pag naaalala namin yung 320. may mga what if's...(parang break up lang) katulad ng pano kung nag quickly na lang kami, o kaya konti na lang yung fave meal na sana namin sa sbarro...at eto ang malupit, sana nag caramel sundae na lang kami sa mc do. sana halos 12 pcs. din ang nabili namin, tag anim sana kami, tignan ko lang kung matakam pa kami sa caramel sa loob ng sampung taon. eh kaso mga maarte kami, gusto namin dun.

nung gabi na, naisip namin lumipat kung saan, on the way eh may nakita ko at tinuro ko sa kanya. bigla syang nag yaya bumaba! teka muna bakit dun, nag dalawang isip ako, eh malay ko ba kung masarap yun, pero gusto nya eh, mapilit. eh di go na. at yun ang bumuo sa araw ko ng hindi ko inaasahan. mula non hinahanap hanap ko na talaga, no joke! try mo din, masarap promise. Sinangag Express- also popularly known as SEX. Sarap, may tapsi,longsi,liemsi,etc...etc...bsta may itlog un lahat. tapos lagyan mo maraming ketchup!!! may chilled taho pa, pero di ko pa natikman, marami pa namang next time ;)

located at:

Pedro gil

Las Pinas

Paranaque

san pa ba? may alam ka?

* mag caramel sundae ka na rin pagtapos

anu, asar ka no? wholesome 'to.

WITH SHATTERED HEART AND TATTERED SOUL.

I feel sorry for myself. I regret that i never try to learn from past mistakes that i always end up doing just the same. I remember starting out just perfectly fine. I have loved, trusted enough, lived life to it's fullest. I didn't wish to be fooled. Nobody did i am sure. But while in the midst of incomparable happiness. loneliness struck me with its painful fang. I bled to death yet remained still. I cried sea of tears for a once happy yesterday i was in. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that moment, neither to the company of trust. Never did i wanted to let go. But somebody just stole it away... and when he gave it back to me, it was all broken into pieces i can hardly glue back. What did i do wrong to deserve such punishment? I was left with only two choices which both lead to self-destruction. Either i run away to save myself or be brave enough to touch the broken pieces of my trust. I chose to stay, between leaving the one you love and working on a broken trust, i found the latter tolerable. But i was wrong. Every moment that i try to pick up the pieces, i end up wounding myself. Wounds that came one after the other. It seemed like time never healed it because i never wanted to. I want to nurture the pain so i can live stronger. I forgot that the wound has to heal so i might learn the lesson of forgiveness. Now that i've turned into somebody who will do everything to protect herself from further pain, nobody wants to be with me. As if i wanted to be this way. I am just a product of their selfless actions, but now, i am the one to suffer. I obsessed over the broken trust i desperately wanted to glue back, so i can love again like i've never been hurt...but in the process of putting the pieces back, i got broken,too. Yet this time, i am left lying shattered with no one to pick me up and try to make me whole.

Guni-Guni

Nasan kaya ang mga panahon na walang pagsidlan ang saya? Tila napag iwanan nako ng mga magagandang bagay sa buhay ko na dati naman ay nandyan lang. Isang araw nagising na lang ako na puno ng takot. Bawat paghinga ay may kirot sa dibdib ko, na para bang nagbabadya ng isang masamang pangyayari. Sa katagalan pakiramdam ko nagbago silang lahat. Hindi ko naman ginusto pero sumabay ako sa pagbabago. Bakit nga ba? Masaya naman ako bilang ako. Ganun yata talaga, ang pagbabago ay hinihingi ng panahon. Sa bawat hakbang na tinatahak ko, hinanap ko yung sarili ko. Naramdaman ko na tila anino na lang ako na naglalakbay sa kawalan. At sa hindi inaasahang sandali, may nakita akong ibang tao kasama ko sa paglalakbay. Malungkot. Galit. Puno ng takot. Pinagmasdan ko sya, pero wala palang magagawa ang mga tingin. Inakala ko na isa lamang syang guni guni. Ngunit hindi pala. Sya pala ay ang totoong ako. Sya na pala ang nakikita ng lahat. At ako? hindi na nila ko nakikta. Kasama ko ang iba pang anino ng mga taong binago ng panahon. Magmamasid sa dahan dahang pagkalugmok ng lahat sa kalungkutan dala ng galit at takot...

PILOSOPIYA NI BOB ONG

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."
2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."
3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."
6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."
7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."
10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."
11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."
12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."
13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."
14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."
15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."
16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”
17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”
18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"
19. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."


magaling.magaling.magaling.

Dear God

if what's best for me is what you want...
then there's nothing for me to fear
for you know the things that i cherish most...
and you know the things that i need.

you can take those fancy things i own
that can make a person smile
you can take everything that i have
even those that are in style.

but there is just one thing
that i would ask you to leave
for he means so much more than i could explain
that if i could have one wish from you
it would be to make him stay.

God, if it's not too much to ask
let my happiness be with him
and if you would ever grant my wish,
its HIM alone that i need.

In Memory of the Good Times Gone Bad

how does one feel whenever one has to say goodbye to good things in his / her life? does one has to blame herself? will crying be enough to exhaust one's self from pain? will it be best to immerse yourself in the sea of all those good things? when as much as it will give you the happiness you're not yet ready to miss, it will also leave you trapped in a surreal world you dont ever want to find yourself forever. does one has to be willing to accept even the bad stuff just so one can move on? or every waking day will just be a living testimonial that things can never be the same like before. i don't exactly know. but i do know something, that whichever one choses to do, it won't guarrantee a better life...a better morning ahead of you.is it mortal sin to close your eyes to things you don't want to see? if you choose to be blind and pretend to be strong, will you have better judgement over circumstances? will it make you more ideal to other people? if you shut your mouth in times when you want to speak, if you intend to just listen and accept what seems to be deafening to your ears, will it make you understanding? will you be appreciated for that? or be thanked at the least? if you consider others' emotions first and foremost, and decided to leave yours unnoticed, will it stop the good things from ending? will it make you a better person? a better friend? a better boyfriend or girlfriend? for some maybe. for those who haven't seen your worth yet. for those who haven't noticed you've been trying this hard already.i don't want to forget beautiful things. they are always a good source of happiness whenever times are low. it's the cheapest way to feel good when life tastes like bitter candy. but good things do end. either you want to accept it or not. from this day, i'm afraid things will completely change for me people will not be the same like before, happy moments will just bring pain because i don't know what's true anymore. did i only fool myself that's why i had those good memories? or did they truly exist? it's painful that you don't learn from past mistakes, because you rather learn to trust again...just to be hurt even more.the only emotion i am able to recognize at the moment is regret. regret that i only found out recently, that no amount of good things that you do can ever make something last forever.