BLOOM!

My phone alarmed today and a message appeared on my to-do note, it says:

” God has placed you there for a purpose, whatever it is might be, know he has chosen you for it and labor faithfully. BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED.”

My sister saved it in my phone during those times I was whining about how I hate my situation and how I would like to give up. It has been a daily reminder since then and up to this day, I labor faithfully knowing that God will never allow the faithful to be moved

My Revised New Year's Resolution

1. I’ll be serious about losing weight I’ll start loving the body that I have now.
2. I’ll be a go-getter I’ll never settle for anything less anymore.
3. I’ll do my best to be happy always I’ll get rid of all the dramas.
4. I’ll start a new hobby I’ll improve what I already have.
5. I’ll be a good girl I’ll think twice before doing something.
6. I’ll never be lovefool again I’ll love with my eyes open.
7. I’ll stop being naive and lonesome I’ll laugh more.
8. I’ll start loving myself more I’ll think more of others and less of myself.
9. I’ll be patient I won’t give up easily.
10. I’ll be more focused I’ll start to pay attention

Random thoughts 101

I’m so in love with my kumareng Vanessa!!
Masarap magjogging! Kick ass talaga!
Masaya ako at makakagraduate nako.
I hate the music industry! It’s full of monopoly and politics.
I want to clean up my act in drums.
Be a civilized person (hindi na paaction star)
Ingatan and cellphone kahit pipitsugin e baka kunin pa din
Makikisapak at sipa ako pag may nakita akong holdaper or snatcher na nahuli.
I want to make a difference in this cruel world.
After long years in conservatory,I know the pitch but still suck in singing
If a focus on something,I can so it.
Mahirap maging pikon.
Bakit may sapak ang broadband
Gusto ko makakuha ng kanta ni james brown.
I want to be the best that I can be.
Leche talaga yung nakasagasa sakin.
I want to have a good system in everything
Why are Filipinos reklamador?
Isang galaw na di gusto e rally kagad.
Hindi inaantay ang resulta.
Nasan na ang pilipinas?
Nasa baba pa din di tulad ng dati na nakakaangat sa karatig bansa.
Bat kaya ang dyip antagal magbyahe
Lagi ka pang haharangan pag tatawid ka.
Bakit madaming virus sa internet.
Bat ang daming masasama sa mundo.
Bakit nagiging badut maging tama?
Bakit hindi pa matapos ang naruto at bleach?
Bakit ang mahal ng cymbals?
Gusto ko magmarimba.
Masarap matulog.
Gusto ko bumalik sa tacobel at maghihiganti kame ni Vanessa sa burrito etc.
Masarap talaga magjogging!

TYR 706!

You are one heck of an irresponsible driver.
You hit us yet you run away from your mess.
You left us broken in the middle.
You showed no compassion , nor a simple sorry.
You let us consumed by hatred by your wrong doing.
But God didn’t left us in grief.
He showed a small light that will lead the way.
A light that’s getting bigger.
And getting us near to your beloved Mitsubishi adventure
Color white and metallic silver.
We already know you.
We will not be above the law,
We will settle this in legal terms.
We will NOT stop until you face your mess
We will NOT stop until you learned your lesson
We will NOT stop until you get it right
For we are scared that you might do this again.
And that time, you already killed someone.
And try to get away with it again.

And i'm so sick of love songs

I’m loving Black Eyed Peas’ Meet me Halfway and Shut it Down feat. Akon right now. So opposite from my usual playlist which is basically composed of loud music. Well there came a point that I even indulged into listening to lovesongs. I fell asleep too many times to mushy songs and I have to blame someone for it. That's what people whose in love often do.

Now I listen to these chill and feel good music for a change. I find it so relaxing and it sets my mood in the morning. I dunno, I just wanted something different. Lately thats what I do, i try to venture into other things. And i’m often misunderstood by people because of it.

I remember wearing a red lipstick last week, and people started asking me why do I look different, blooming, blah-blah. At first, it was amusing that they seem to notice, but then it becomes irritating. Someone made this drastic comment that I have been trying to look pretty because I’m threatened of this newbie employee, that I’m up for a competion. Right then and there I wanted to slap this person’s face and tell him he’s so pathetic. People are mean sometimes. How can they ever think of those things when I don’t have a single idea of that in my mind? Do I really have to explain to everyone why I was wearing a red lipstick? Can’t I just do it because I want to and not be obliged in giving a reason?

Honestly, I just wanted to go out of my comfort zone and try new things. I’m hurt, i just want to feel good about myself. I’m so tired of everything, of the people around me, my routine, that same old lovesong i listen to over and over, and i just need a break.

What's Up Santa?

You see I started feeling this way that day when Alvin and I had dinner together at the mall one Saturday evening. While I was sitting there waiting for our food, I received a text message from Alvin who was then waiting on a long line of people on the counter who were also starving to death. It says, “Can you hear the song? Christmas na talaga no?” Only then did I realize that the whole time I was sitting there, Christmas carols had been playing on the background.

And it all began. That sudden rush of excitement and that old familiar smile on my face is telling me that my favorite time of the year is fast approaching. I soooo love the holiday season. I love the traffic, yes even if it means i’ll be coming home later than the usual. I love to hit the malls during this season where everyone is panicking to get their shopping list done. I love the festive, the foods, the parties and the gifts. Actually, there’s only one thing that I don’t like about it. Its how we sometimes pretend to be happy even if we are not. We feel pressured to be jolly because we think that everyone is feeling that way and that is what the season is all about. Celebrating.

I don’t know if I have been naughty or nice this year. But I want to get good gifts come Christmas time. I’m sure you give out second chances right? I think its not yet too late to put my acts together and show you that I am still your good girl Besides, I still have a few months left. I have one request though. Should you happen to catch me trying to fake the smile on my face, can you remind me of all the reasons why this Christmas is worth celebrating?

The Philippine Star Goes Live!

The Philippine Star goes live yesterday at the New World Hotel. The country’s brightest and widely read newspaper unveils the future as we party the night away.Top celebrities entertained the crowd of advertisers and everyone had a blast. Foods, booze and prizes were overflowing. And its me up there, sharing the limelight with Luis Manzano and Iya Villana. Walang kokontra! Haha:D Fun.Fun.Fun!

*photo courtesy of Mong Pintolo

'Tis the Season for Gifts!

I received a surprise gift today Alvin bought me a running shoes! Well I’ve been wanting a new one lately and Alvin who was playing Secret Santa made plans of surprising me all along. We even had a fight earlier and I was really, really mad at him. I didn’t know he was up to something fishy. Well, I consider this an early Christmas gift. And I’m hoping for more. Ho-ho

Thoughts on a Sunday Morning

I think my life needs a major overhaul. I don’t understand why I allow myself to live with something that I don’t like. It feels like as if I don’t have any other options and I hate it. Coz all my life, I never boxed myself into thinking that I deserved less.I don’t remeber a time I feared losing something that I want, if it will cost me my dignity. Well it all boils down to something, we all due respect. And if I feel that I don’t get it, i head out to the nearest exit. I hate it thaat some people are making a fool out of me. And there are some who seems to believe that I only deserve to photocopy things for them, run errands for them, etc…etc.When I still don’t have my college degree, I wasn’t even treated inferior by my boss, by the people around me, even by my students when I was an English teacher. Probably because everyone knows that we were all intelligent people. Its funny coz now, people act as though they won themselves a personal assistant. I don’t deserve this. I studied hard to have a good life, to have a good job and not just to get paid a little to be everyone’s doormat. I’ll start picking myself from here. Let’s see what happens.

Vanessa 101

FOUND: Laughing at her own jokes, adoring herself in the mirror

IDENTIFIED BY: her all consuming mood, her pensive look, her roaring laughter

WEARS: her heart on her sleeves, a sheepish grin, the sweetest toothy smile for her enemies

BIGGEST FEAR: Conformity

LOST WITHOUT: her big imagination, someone to pick on for her own amusement

INTRIGUED BY: the cheerleaders, everyone else’s lunch food

PET PEEVE: inflated egos of athletes, home economics

PASSION: passion

CAN YOU IMAGINE HER: in a Lady Gaga concert, adding “like, whatever” to her vocabulary

Best things in the world

1. not coming home till 3 in the morning
2. that after shower feeling
3. waking up to your alarm and falling asleep again
4. 12 hours of undisturbed sleep (and peeing doesn’t count)
5. last minute plans that turns out to be the best ones
6. noodle soup straight from the fridge
7. hidding the tv remote so i can watch spongbob the whole time
8. a kiss on the forehead
9. cake and coffee breakfast
10. that Friday im gonna party after work feeling
11. an unexpected hello from someone you hate
12. singing and dancing in front of the mirror
13. waking up in the morning and finding out you still have some minutes left to just lie there and daydream
14. answered prayers
15. the nights I can barely remember

Pinas,Pinas… nandito ang kinabukasan

I wish.. I wish..
I’ve read an excerpt of the essay Mexican masks, it was a revelation for me.
We,the Filipino people are same with the Mexicans.
In the said essay, we are afraid to face the spotlight to fight for our beliefs.
Instead,we just remain silent and give that “respect” to the ones who made such an undesirable thing. We are scared to go beyond our capabilities.
I always make my blog in the type of “spur of a moment”.
I’m a guy who always speaks my mind and gives a piece of it.
I maybe uncivilized in delivering my word but I also settle things in legal matters.
Do I have to remind every person that smoking in the jeepneys is unlawful?
Also litering? Also the kotong cops to the politicians who put their faces bigger than The word ambulance? Can’t we Filipino people wake up?
Even if one people made an example in front of their faces? Will they do it?
No.. I’ve been there,they made me look like an idiot but I’m the one who's doing the right thing.
How can we progress if one such small task that is right we can’t do..
I’m planning about doing a blog on my recital but this crap is really bothering me.
I’ll connect it soon. But anyway,why do Filipinos struggle so hard in crossing the overpasses? Why do drivers don’t report and just tolerate the kotong cops? I live my life in a systematic manner, I follow the flow of things, why can’t most of us follow?

In my Graduation recital, this things were also not followed. I followed the system yet I don’t know why such people bend the rules leaving me tortured in my mind if my life changing recital would push through. Leaving me struggling in time and not enough time to practice. I wish my recital would have a better outcome. I know I could push a little more. That small thing could make a lot of difference. Even though I got a flat 1 in my recital(equivalent to thesis), In my personal record,I’m not satisfied. I know I could have done more. I wish there would be a strong system in those things. I know were in a transition,I’m hopeful..
After my recital, My girlfriend and I went to trinoma. I really wanted so bad the tacobel and everything that is Mexican. On our way there,my celphone worth 3k that is pretty dirty and not a touch screen was snatched in my pocket. That dumb fuck! I just wished that guy snatched a fone from an elitista that doesn’t care. Anyway I just wished I really caught that guy red handed so I can make a fucking difference in his face. I know it’s a violent way,but the hell with it. I promised that I won’t be like that but when will the time that the guy will be kicked for his petty fucking crime. I believe in karma. Yes I do. But they give such problems to the society. Specially me, If I had caught him I would really put a deep belly button on his forehead. I’m really mad! I just wanna celebrate my happy end in the recital and you destroyed the moment. I don’t care if you are a robin hood type but I hope you rot in hell. What you did is wrong.. I’m so mad, really mad but I just wish our country would be better for all of us. So that you fucking snatchers and likes would have a nice and honest job that doesn’t require pestering and be a parasite to the society. I just hope one day you will find a nice job. You got me but God will really get you. And if I see one of your likes even if it’s not you. I’ll strangle you with your own intestine.

On Robbers and Pesky Kids on the Street

Scene 1:

Ninong Roy and I were driving off to UST for Alvin's grad recital. Nearly 3pm, the traffic was heavy. As long as it matters by Gin Blossom was playing on the background and we were trying to busy ourselves humming to the tune because we were starting to get pissed off. We need to get there by 3pm. There came a boy trying to wash the windows of Roy's car. Ninong politely asked him to stop because he doesn't have coins to give him. He pretended not to hear him. Ninong spoke the same words. The reply came as shock:

Boy: "Fuck you ka! P*%*#@ M*! Pag di mo ko binigyan babasagin ko tong bintana mo"

And then there was silence.

Scene 2: (Same day)

6:30 pm, Alvin and I were rushing to Trinoma after his recital. We agreed on eating at our favorite Taco Bell that's why we starved ourselves even if there was a lot to chow down on his after recital mini celebration. The thing was, it was raining very hard that day that it caused an even heavier traffic in the evening. The streets were already flooded by the time we were able to ride a jeepney. We had no other choice but to ride a jeep since the streets were already jampacked with people trying to get a ride. Alvin was in such relief, at last he managed to perform very well in his recital. He oh-so deserved his "Flat 1" grade. The jeepney was crowded, people were compressed.

Ending of scene 1: Ninong's car got a lot of scratches made by that pesky boy

Ending of scene 2: Alvin's Samsung cellphone was stolen. (It was in his pocket, a robber successfuly managed to get it without Alvin's knowing)

To these people. Stop getting a life out of other people's expense. We all need something and we never get it the easy way. We have to work hard for it. And it doesn't include working hard to get other people's possession and claim it as your own. And to that pesky kid, do yourself a big favor, CHANGE NOW. Unless you want to be a full grown ROBBER like the one who stole Alvin's phone.

Life is a Series of Arrivals and Departures

but what matters most are the things in between.

Still feeling sad today. Reality sucks.