Life is a Series of Arrivals and Departures

but what matters most are the things in between.

Still feeling sad today. Reality sucks.

Power Trip Huh?

I am really pissed off . Somebody is getting into my nerves and i feel sick just seeing this person. I hate how this person is taking advantage of authority. Power hungry! I believe that we all due respect. I hope that person knows what respect is all about. I can’t bring myself to like this person though I’ve tried a million times. I just can’t stand being around rude people because I was raised well and that’s just something I can’t take in my system. Power tripper! I wish you realize that you’re making a lot of people miserable because all you care about is yourself, your wants, your unrealistic expectations and your undeserved privilege over something. We are all intelligent and educated people here, stop treating people like idiots and servants just because you have placed yourself into a pedestal believing you’re so damn great. Bullshit, get a life!

Hostage...

You know what happened right?
Who are to blame? Is it Mendoza alone? I hold him responsible for what he did regardless of his actions. I know people who cares so much for his reputation. But the hell? You are still responsible for your actions. The corrupt society makes Mendoza the man he is today. It’s in the system of our society, I’m not defending him that he is not guilty but the environment made him a monster.
Who should be blamed?

Mendoza-If he believed in the system(even though it sucks), He should not have resulted to that action. A bad action will never resolve a good resolution(unless you are a cronie suck ass of the former President turned Congresswoman). You want to be heard right? Do it in the Right way. It takes patience, a lot of it.
PNP?- Maybe yes, Maybe yes, sorta maybe no? if he was introduced in a nice environment in the Force, he could be one of a kind. Rank is just a rank but doing the right job everyday makes a policeman worth respecting. From cityhall of Manila to España before Ust. I see kotong police using takatak boys to collect their kotong. So who would be the Good Police? I don’t know. I know quite a handful but there more corrupt than good. A Call to the justice system.What happened to the euro generals? Still living a comfy life? A salute to the handful of nice Cops and a nerve racking middle finger sign to those who bend the rules.
Kapatid ni Mendoza-If he is civilized enough to cooperate till the end,it would have a huge different outcome. The act he made won’t even pass the Awards for best actor.
Commission on Human Rights-Somewhat….. The church is our conscience,our balance in outlook in life. And it might be the basis of the commission,But why are they silent? Because of the bloody outcome? It might be.. There are many chances to shoot Mendoza but didn’t take it because they are bound to negotiate because of some human rights rule. I know they are human, but what if they commit the killing of the hostages? Are they still bound to be protected while the victims die in agonizing pain? It sucks right. One request, if there is a hostage taking. A shoot to kill order must be implemented. No exemption if the guy is just blabbering about his wife or the same as Mendoza.
The Media-The press is so free in this country, I hope the gov’t will make some adjustments in this crisis. There is media wars in this land, They don’t care sometimes just for the sake of being the exclusive features. Look what happened, one radio station said they have the exclusive interview of Mendoza but the authorities who are negotiating can’t reach him because the line is busy. Mendoza also saw the arrest of his brother which made him really made. Set a line dudes,don’t react that if the police won’t let you cover it means martial law already.

I maybe right or wrong but the society and politics made this mess. The politics that I’m referring to is not just at the gov’t itself. There’s politics everywhere, in your job, the music industry, showbiz etc. Will our mind for the right things after this incident? No.. I still saw the kotong police doing his routine. Some officials take this moment as time to shine for their own popularity. Is there a hope for us? Yes.. I still believe in that. I can make a difference, I put my trash in the trash bins. I’m responsible in my small ways.

P.I.L.A! (Putang Ina Layo Ahhh!)

Naranasan niyo na ba masingitan? Syempre naman siguro..
I curse them with all of my bile, bacteria and bodily excretions.
Kaya nga may pila para my sistema, ayoko ng nasisingitan dahil kahit puno ng corrupt ang pinas. I’m still hopeful na maayos ito,simula sa pagpila ng maayos.
Sa mga mahilig sumingit,sana madapa kayo ng bongga sa pagsingit niyo..as in face first!
It’s a bad day then you follow the rule of the line. Suddenly someone in your front asked for the line then suddenly joins the line. Tapos garapal na nandun na siya kahit may mahabang pila pa. Meron pa! nasa pila ka pero uunahan ka ng nasa likod mo para sa upuan. At merong mas malupit pa, mga pretenders! Kunyari hindi nakapila at my inaabangan lang. Pag dating ng fx,biglang tatakbo sa sasakyan na parang walang nakapila. Pag ako nakatiempo ng garapal na singitan ako sa harap,hindi kita sasantuhin.
This might be senseless blog for others,pero kung nafil niyo lang masingitan ng bongga ewan ko lang. Sa mga mahilig sumingit! Mahiya naman kayo, kung hindi e I hope you rot in hell soon! So dun sa babaeng nakadilaw na tshirt at naka jeans nung maulang gabi ng September 3 2010. oo,ikaw ung sumigit at nagmamaang maangan. Sana makatikim ka ng bongga ng ginagawa mo. I’m sorry if I’m so fucking bitter, pero pagod na kame ni Vanessa pero ikaw parang wala lang. I’m trying to be civilized pero be civilized. Alam kong nadidinig mo kame nung gabi na yun. Mahiya ka naman,kung ako ung talagang siningitan mo e ipapahiya kita.

Junk in my head

I miss doing blogs. I don’t know if anyone reads my junk in my head, but it’s quite a therapy for me. There's a lot for me lately, I’m few inches away from graduating. My feeling right now is that I’m against all odds. Even the holy representatives of God are making me curse them(don’t take this literally). My ghost of irresponsibility is catching me up also. I’m just coping up still but I know one frickin nonsense will really blow me up. I think my irresponsibility was my own fear of facing life after college, a rockstar mentality that I will be part of some big band or whatever but first we have get rid of those monopolizing production. I have to make them rot the soup and make the star be devoured by a blackhole with their nonsense shits. Back in my junk, why is it like this? I just want to be mediocre like everyone else but it won’t get me nowhere. I want to make a difference in my life, I did few things that made my school shake. It’s quite blooming now but it’s hard to be part of the transition. I have to be strong. There are more things that I want to change and it’s for the betterment of things. I’m so saddened by people who doesn’t want change because it’s the comfort zone or they are to scared to risk. I don’t know now what to think. There is to much crap in my mind, I just want to get this of me and eat tacobel to death. I just want to finish it, but it really sucks when the corruption of others affects you. The corruption that you want to change is the one that's holding you down. I want to fight for it but my allies tells me to be calm and let them do their work. I’m not patient enough in this things. I’m a very frank person, It’s my asset but it’s also my own devil in me. It’s quite hard to set it right. Thankful to my Significant other(Vanessa.. yihee!), I’m able to use this in a positive and civilized manner. Why think of this in my graduation? I don’t know, there is a big pressure in graduating. I think it’s not the graduation that I’m scared, maybe It’s the real life after college that's scarings the shit out of me. I'm not feeling the regret of this course in my music. If i wasn't a risk taker in my college, i would be a different person. A mediocre person. I wouldn't have met my Girlfriend and my partner in food crime if i didn't took this course. It made me stronger because of this art that is still full of corruption and politics. Maybe it's heaven if everything that is nice. As my life starts to end in my college, i don't know where to start after October hopefully and i will make it. I just hope that i'll use what i learned in my long time of study. It's fun, going in far places even in Thailand and Taiwan. Hopefully the travel and fun of music doesn't stop there. It's hard to face real life, most Filipino are optimistic but doesn't face real life. They all just blame the gov't.Others do a lot of children and make them laborers of alms. More things are going to my head still but it reduced some crap. I still have to study complicated pieces for my recital for less than a month and i still don't know when will i start. I'm affected of this change that i want but more affected in the crap of this corruption and money and all that shit. I hope what i started will end beautifully and i hope that my influence of change in system that shares the same ideals and perception will stay when i leave. I'm optimistic still but shit i really have to graduate to i can change the music industry after all the crap i have encountered on school. Will i able to make it after this? Let's find out. I'm gonna go out and start the change.. I'm not just gonna say all crap.. I'm gonna do all crap hehe.. maybe i'll succeed but it depends on those power hungry people. But hopefully i'll win it in the end.

Manic Monday

“Father, father send some guidance from above, these people got me into questioning…where is the love?”

Where is love in all of these, Lord? When you taught us to love each other as we love ourselves.

Where is love in all of these, Lord? When you demonstrated perfect love when you gave up your son on the cross.

Where is love in all of these, Lord? When you asked us to forgive others and to stop pointing fingers.

Where is love in all of these, Lord? When you promised us peace in times of trouble.

Where is love, Lord? I can’t find it in our hearts.

Remind us that amidst everything that has happened, still the greatest is LOVE.

ibalik mu jacket ko!!!!!!! whaa!!

Harsh reality is for everyone.. it makes us worthy of living in this wonderful earth(but nature is very angry because many of us aren't responsible enough).
Anyway.. As any 4th yr. high school would be.. you are so damn pressured and clueless in your college course.. as my guidance counselor told me,i would be a successful swordsmith(panday wtf) anyway.. i applied in 3 major universities UST,UP,DLSU..
In UP my test was ruined becaused i misunderstood what my sister told me.. i thought it was right minus wrong,but the reality was right minus 1 but in 4 mistakes.. so i kissed the ruins of UP gudbye and i hope the one beside me didn't pass because he ate a jabee burger that completly made everyone starved.. anyway.. in DLSU.. i made a mistake... i passed but didn't like my courses.. hehe.. anyway in UST i passed in civil engineering,i was ready to reserve my slot but didn't do it... instead i went to music.. and what a frickin world..

i dunno why.. but what the hell... i hate my frickin senior who i will renamed.. instead of guiding us to be better.. he just made us look like a failure.. i reacted by not showing up and making up a decision to be a rockstar and not to study..
hope that there would be a break and be famous and escape the harsh ways of school.. instead i choke up.. many times... i had some breaks but didn't take it.. i had a chance of being a drummer of a certain "very good singer" but didn't take it.. i'm just scared the shit of myself.. anyway.. i had to face them one by one.. being in charge of my own and not be scared.. i studied.. and studied.. and regret.. many regrets.. why i didn't took studies seriously.. anyway.. many opportunities later.. still didn't take it.. but i'm near to my goal and graduate.. my ghost of irresponsibility has followed me.. it's still pulling me down... and i want to fight but i don't know how...

Star Light, Star Bright!

Okay, so let me say that this one is in partial fulfillment of my previous blog post. Yes, the one that sounds bitter even when hidden under sugar coated words. (Please refer to blog post entitled “Thinking Out Loud”)
That time, I was a junkie fresh out of college, not a bum but an Account Manager at an Interior Design firm. So what was the bitterness all about? It was all about me not knowing where my life was taking me because I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I feel blessed to be able to find a decent job the moment i stepped out of college but I know that I wanted something else. I hold on to my faith that my star would shine brightest come 2010. And guess what? Not only did it shine brightest, it literally took me to the STAR. Never in my wildest dream did i ever imagine working in The Philippine Star, but, let’s just say that my life took a full 360 degrees turn and it brought me here. Now, I can say that I am happier though I still have to take a lot of baby steps from where I am now. But who knows, my star would be brightest in the years to come.

Bad Romance

I did it! We did it! I still cant believe that i actually danced in front of a huge crowd but i did it anyway. Whew!
Forgive me but I’d rather have the mic and sing to save a life, but my asthma attack that day left me with no other choice but to dance. But what matters now is that its finally over and it was no sweat We all had a good laugh and it felt great to go out of your comfort zone sometimes to face your fears. And then again, shaking my booty to the tune of bad romance, wasn’t that bad after all.

The mostest Mushyiestest super duperest thing in my life... Si Vany.. hehe..

HI! I'm Alvin.. Sobrang in love kay Vany..
Kahit madaming masasamang espirito dyan na umiikot.. I hold the truth.. God is truth..
Kaya manira pa kayo.. kakain na lang kame isquidbols kesa isipin pa mga kalokohan nyo..
we Don't care.. Si Vany ay isang reserved na tao(whoa!) hehe.. lot's of patience.. as in! nahawa sa pagkahighblood ko.. hehe.. nakakatiis ng pagkaweirdo ko.. laging nakasupport sakin.. kung pwede nga lang siya maging supporter na tunay e wag na lang.. hehe.. magiging lage siyang kasama ng balls ko.. hehe..
Nakakaappreciate kame ng simpleng bagay.. nakakahugot na siya ng positive vibes sa mga pangit na bagay.. dati hindi.. bat kaya..hehe.. basta nasusian ko siya kung isang gabi ng linggo para maset free ang kanyang utak to all the other things that can make you happy.. wag maging dirty mind..
Kung hindi maintindihan wag na pilitin.. nahihigh ako dito sa amoy ng parlor.. hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit may parlor na kalahati tong netshop..

Si Vany ay mabait,masayahin,energetic,adventurous,emo,goth,jejemon,jejebuster,
badudles,makulit,religous,conservative,mahilig magpambahay,chillax,happy,mellow,mayaman,demigod,may nunal,hupaw,punk not dead,mahilig sa tubig,fave fruit ang banana(wag na kumontra),mahilig sa malunggay,hindi t-rex maglakad pag nakaheels,enjoy pag maingay,enjoy pag tahimik,tulo laway,maganda ang boses,poker face,tulog mantika,rocker,fashionista,shinny long legs,pearly white teeth,undecided hairstyle(kahit anung gawin ok naman),kuripot sa sarili,putok fuse,sarap to the bones,angelic presence,magaling magjoke(di lang madeliver),future great cook,shy,conyo,masa,highblood,freedon fighter,nice,matakaw,health conscious,nature lover,kick ass.. hehe.. basta love ko yan.. this blog may look like a freakin' joke pero this is what i feel about her..happy,happy,joy,joy... just pure happiness... Apir!

A letter who claim they use art to fight the gov't but they are just the same

Who are they? some "musikero" who monopolize the scene. They are in a huge group that already made it,then they make another band with another peeps from a hug band,then they make it again,then they mix it up again with other peeps who are also big in the scene,then alas! mtv and myx.you just their face all day in just different groups.

You monopolize the scene,just earning for a living? just want to express? how about the other bands in the scene there are some worthy band who can make it but you don't let then. All that tugish takish shit.. mahiya naman kayo.. or your just performers na naubos na ang hiya kakalabas sa lahat..

Partylist sucks

Partylist was done for voices of such advocate groups to be heard and make their way for gov't. But now i don't get it at all.Last elections they just wasted more than half of the paper.And they put one before the party list name so it would be first like 1-wtf.why?

I think they don't follow the true essence of their purpose.One partylist claim that they are for the youth but in their ads they just attack one politician,then i saw in the news that the name of the partylist was involved in stealing the chairs in PUP. Some partylist just use the money to fund the rally against the gov't.why do this shit?
then some nasty ass politician who screwed up the electricity bought a partylist? why this shit again... abolish partylist!

penge pera!

wala na akong pera! whaa!!!!

MY MAN

...his patience and understanding are astounding. When everyone else have turned their backs away because of my bitchiness, he smiles and holds me close and whispers calmly to my ear. He is the anchor that holds me steady. He is the wind that helps me soar through the skies. He is the star that keeps me from getting lost. In his arms, I am home.

...my always weary heart gets into his nerves. my constant arguing about petty things test his patience and makes him lose control. My jealousy pushes him to the edge of his temper. I can go on and on about me being childish in many ways but our love remained steadfast. You see, he is loving me like he did the first time. He overlooks every shortcomings that we have, with an open arms to embrace our differences. He made me feel like the most beautiful girl when i'm with him.He is simply superb.

...i honestly love to hate him. His little ways sometimes irritates me to the fullest. I hate it when he seems to get away with everything, but that's how he has always been. My life could have been easier, simplier without him...but it also could have been so incomplete....

...I saw us recovering from past hurts, and healing and growing together. I saw us working side by side, doing more things together and spending more time with each other. The result is a love
that is stronger than before. I'm glad that we went through very painful experiences in the past because they brought us back together in the end, with an even stronger bond and a more beautiful relationship. After all the stops and starts, I am happy and thankful that I'm standing here with my hand in his. These things may be boring to other people. But they're the ones I remember the most.

...to the man who made all good things happen in my life, i love you is an understatement. :)
cheers to a wonderful 4 years of being in love and crazy with each other.

If life is short...why don't we....

I was on my way to work that morning when reality struck me. Imagine my goosebumps when I saw this thing happen right before my still sleepy eyes. Damn it. A lady in a 3 inches (if i will do the math) high heels killed a then so healthy and full of life cockroach. She did it like an expert. EEW! I watched her in dismay, why does she have to use the heel by the way when she can use the upper tip of the shoe instead? What a murderer. Well i won't really harbor any ill feeling towards her if she only did that in a more gracious way. It's kind of gross to be watching the roach swimming in its own white sticky blood, if blood is what you call it. As much as I would like to disregard the whole thing, it was enough to send shivers down my spine. When i recovered from that experience as I reached the office, i laughed and jokingly said to myself...poor roach, well, life is short. That adage rang a bell in my mind the first time i thought of it. But little did i know that life would like to teach me a more significant lesson at that cockroach's expense. Later in the afternoon, I received a text from a friend, whose loved one died on an accident. That one really gave me a knock on the head. And finally... i uttered seriously, that indeed life is short. My heart goes out for a friend who was just starting to learn how to really love someone, how to appreciate every second of being with them, showing her real feeling. Ive known her for quite sometime and i will always argue with her about not being open with her feelings. She never show in her actions how much she loved a person, she can never imagine doing that. And when she finally did, she only had very limited time. I remember those times I was not mindful of the beautiful people in my life. All those times wasted on arguing with them, giving them a cold shoulder and not being thankful of their presence, i felt a sudden feeling of regret. I realized that we are just passers by of this world. God has numbered our days as written in the bible,but how are we to spend it? Shall we continue to live for ourselves, or for others instead? What if we are only given a few minutes, days, months, years to be with the people we love? And a lifetime to regret if we fail to make the most out of it. We tend to take for granted the people in our lives because we always think that they are just around. Sometimes we also do that to ourselves, taking advantage of our busy days to neglect our health, relationships and the things that really matter. We fail to seize the day. I don't mean to to make a humor out of my friend's loss by starting off with a story of the cockroach. But that's how life made me see things on a different light. As a teenager, I once got hooked over this boy band which was the Moffats. One of their famous songs was IF LIFE IS SHORT...with a line that goes, why don't you let me love you before we ran out of time? Well that made sense to me. So here I go, making my own list of to do things, while we still feel and breathe life. Here goes...

If life is short, why don't we...

1.) eat without caring much about our weight (staying fit is healthy, being vain is not)
2.) laugh out loud till your tonsils show (who cares anyway?)
3.) sing at the top of your lungs
4.) dance like no one is watching
5.) say thank you to someone today
6.) compliment another person
7.) make every place our playground
8.) count our blessings instead of sheeps if we can't sleep
9.) get down and get dirty
10.) love like we've never been hurt

Live and let die today. Let go and let God.